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Practicing SR since July 2017; currently have a 3+ month streak

2 accounts got shadowbanned for uploading this post. Spam filter kept on removing it this post. Messaged the moderators, but received no answer. Removed many links, so check post history for full version.

First time making a Reddit post. Estimated Reading Time: 15 minutes
Brief summary of post:
  1. History of Journey
  2. Using Subliminals (affirmations converted into audio) to reprogram the subconscious, overcome nocturnal emissions, and turbo-charge the Law of Attraction
  3. Experience from meditation retreats
  4. Massive booklist covering psychotherapy, spirituality, and general books such as negotiating and advanced social skills
  5. Fundamental shifts that occurred
  6. Experiences with semen-retention benefits
  7. How I overcame and conquered negative entities
  8. Tantric meditation method that actually works with zero side effects
  9. Experience on speaking Japanese for 1 full hour with native speakers without notes after 3 months of learning

Terminology:
Wet dream/WD – sexual dream causing semen emission while sleeping
Nocturnal Emission/NE – semen emission occurring while sleeping even without dreaming
Semen-retention/SR streak – avoiding porn, masturbation, and ejaculation whether conscious or unconscious
Nofap Hardmode – avoiding porn, masturbation, and conscious ejaculation. Unconscious ejaculation/WD is considered fine.

As the title suggests, my current streak started in the middle of June 2017. Haven’t watched any porn or masturbated in 3 years. Experienced almost all the benefits such as massive attraction (men, women, children), an aura/energy surrounding me, enhanced charisma, less need for sleep, insane levels of energy, drive, and motivation, zero anxiety or fear, massive confidence occasionally bordering on arrogance, increased manifestation/LOA, people admiring/respecting me for no reason, online attraction, less procrastination, better athletic performance, greater creativity/intelligence, the desire to live a purposeful life, greater emphasis on spirituality, and much much more. Could probably write several posts just on the benefits themselves. Only thing that didn’t improve was my skin, which was later fixed using subliminals.
It’s been a long journey, so I’ll start with background information, and later elaborate on how I managed to go from nocturnal emissions every 5 days (avg) to having a perfect SR streak for 3 months.
Used to watch anime which led to hentai (2013), and eventually western/japanese porn. Don’t even bother to search these terms on Google. It’s not worth it. Thankfully, those days are long behind me. As a side-note, I discovered the nofap/semen-retention subreddit in November 2017. Didn’t even know about SR before that.
I was raised a Catholic in a fairly religious family. Always started various streaks, and eventually broke them due to boredom/emotional coping/curiosity about new videos. Thankfully, I got good grades, read books, and was interested in self-development, but all that time spent on porn was a complete waste. Assuming I spent at least 2 hours everyday for 4 years (1460 days), it amounts to 122 complete days or around 4 months in total. It’s pretty sad on reflection, but at least the experience is now absorbed, and I can write this post.
On June 2017, after summer break started and final exams were over, I decided to permanently quit this habit. Downloaded an application called Cold Turkey and completely blocked all websites I used to visit. Now use Leechblock, which is available on most browsers (also use it to block/restrict access to non-NSFW websites which impair productivity like ESPN). Started 30 minutes of daily meditation (mindfulness + metta). Still continue the habits to this day, although the length is increased to 1 hour. Read Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana and Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg for instructions. Have re-read these books multiple times.
Mindfulness will allow you to be self-aware of your mental conditioning, while metta (feeling compassion for yourself, a friend, neutral person, and enemy) can remove thoughts of lust and fundamentally alter your mental programming. Compassion is a very powerful exercise. Read “The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer” while you’re at it and learn tonglen. All of these books contain zero fluff, and are invaluable reads.
Started drinking 16 glasses of water (thought it would help skin, but helped in other ways), and doing 100 pushups + 100 sit-ups everyday. Increased it to 200 pushups + 200 sit-ups after 1 month. After 2 months, I made a decent amount of gains (SR helps), and people started asking me workout tips and what gym I go to. Had a Kindle Paperwhite, which is frankly one of my most valued possessions. Still works perfectly fine after 5 years, and costs only $130. Buy one now. Read a lot of books mostly consisting of biographies/spirituality/practical social skills/800+ page novels for around 6 hours per day. Still try to read for at least 15 minutes/1 chapter even when extremely busy. Will post a small booklist at the end of this post.
You can upload books to it for free if you lack money. Visit (gen.lib.rus.ec), download the ebook in epub/mobi format, open it with Calibre (https://calibre-ebook.com/), and send it to Kindle using USB. Knowledge is an investment that produces continuous returns. Warren Buffett spends 80% of his time just reading! and takes action based on that knowledge.
Even managed to have the motivation to learn Japanese by joining a foreign language exchange website. People, especially women, accepted and sent a lot of invitations to have a conversation; didn’t realize online attraction was due to SR back then. None of us showed our faces, so my physical appearance had nothing to do with it. From experience, the best way to learn a language was to make a phrase sheet with the most common phrases/questions, such as “okay”, “that’s awesome”, “what is that word in English/Japanese?” Basically a human AI bot. Don’t waste time trying to learn how to write the alphabet, although my primary purpose was to learn how to speak. Google Translate is good enough to understand the pronunciation.
I learned Japanese primarily by watching Terrace House. First watched the episode with subtitles, then re-watched it without, while simultaneously writing all the connectives/conversational phrases. You can try unique methods to remember, but brute-force memorization/review worked the best. Never tried Anki since it was cumbersome to use.
For the accent, the best way is to watch Japanese people trying to speak English, and try to mirror their accent as much as possible. It honestly helps. After 3 months, I could have a full 1 hour conversation in Japanese with a native speaker without looking at any notes. I wasn’t “fluent” (still stuttered and made mistakes), but it was a huge amount of progress for starting from scratch. Eventually after 6 months, I gave up practicing/speaking the language. I was mainly trying to fulfill a childhood fantasy, and I’m glad I tried since I learned a lot from it and got to talk with interesting people. But in reality, I stopped watching anime, and honestly never needed to speak Japanese in real-life. Now I barely remember any of the words, except a few basic phrases. Could probably last 30 seconds of full conversation at best.
So, everything was going great until December 2017. During this time period, I probably had wet dreams/nocturnal emissions every 1 – 2 months. Barely felt much difference since there was a decent time interval between emissions. Drank 2 glasses of water everyday before bed, slept on my stomach, and ate spicy food (practices that cause nocturnal emissions), but was perfectly fine. However in December I started having emissions every 2 weeks. Initially didn’t care about it. In January it started happening every 1 week. Nothing really changed in my life during this time to cause emissions to increase. Then it started happening every 5 days, every 3 days, sometimes even 2 days in a row!
Most of you will have no idea how terrible it feels to be on top of the world, and then suddenly crash down. The difference between living life with/without SR benefits is night and day. Even after sleeping 10 hours, I used to feel completely exhausted. People ignored me, or worse started “joking” around me. Complete disrespect by friends, family, and acquaintances. No energy/motivation to do anything. Constant brain fog, could barely concentrate. Felt even worse than my porn days when I ejaculated everyday. Voice completely shot, started feeling anxious about oral presentations for no reason, when I always excelled. Felt like my soul was dying. Those were really dark times. People started saying I “changed”, and started pointing out and constantly magnifying my flaws. It’s strange how people exaggerate our skills/talents on SR, while they completely ignore them post WD/ejaculation, and focus only on your flaws/mistakes. It makes you lose trust in everyone around you, as if all of them are energy vampires who only like you due to SR.
I grew desperate. During this whole time I meditated, practiced no lust/no arousal as best as possible since July 2017, yet emissions increased massively in frequency. Some occurred due to sexual dreams, but most were nocturnal emissions. Thought I had a UTI at first, and went to a general practitioner. He didn’t seem very reliable, so I went to a prominent urologist. Did all sorts of tests, paid a good amount of money, and the doctor said everything was fine. Having nocturnal emissions every 5 days was perfectly normal at my age. Encouraged me to masturbate regularly if it became an inconvenience :)
So medical science obviously failed. Started following all the tips/methods in this subreddit, and believe me I tried almost everything no matter how uncomfortable or time-consuming. Omad, avoid food/water before bed, vegetarianism, tantric meditation, different diets, various sleeping positions, no/increased meditation before bed, no/more exercise, yogic exercises, qigong, some tips mentioned by Soaring Eagle, prayed to God. None of them worked. The only method I didn’t try extensively were kegels. Initially tried a normal + reverse kegel routine, then found an article by coincidence on this subreddit about someone who permanently damaged their penis from doing kegels. Immediately stopped, thank you to that person for sharing your experience. It’s as if the universe was looking out for me. Best to avoid such risky methods even if you’re desperate. Currently sleep on my back since it avoids any "accidental physical stimulation" from occurring.
So this nocturnal emission phenomena continued for over a year. Some methods worked better than others, while for some, I wasn’t sure if it was merely the placebo effect. In mid-2019 I came across subliminal videos (finally the good part!) on YouTube. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0W5AB1sGr0) This video explains it more thoroughly, but basically you convert affirmations (sentences like “I am happy/smart/handsome”) into audio using text-to-speech software and reprogram your subconscious mind. Tried a beauty subliminal (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEXaAsm-Iys) as a joke, but the next day I noticed changes in my facial structure. Listened for an hour the first day, which was easy given the music. You have no idea how amazing it feels to know that you can control your reality just by using your mind. Completely magical. Supposedly it works due to the Law of Attraction; you can find out more by reading/watching “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, and later reading all the books by Neville Goddard. Started using a skin subliminal as well (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqi8Q80pspk and later moved onto https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COxz8hvl14Y ), and now my skin is completely normal. Visited prominent US dermatologists, tried all sorts of acne medicine including Accutane, and even did SR, yet none of them worked. Skin was pretty terrible, and I was glad it got fixed. Took around 4 months of daily listening although it can be shortelonger depending on your belief, blockages, and levels of positivity. There’s a CIA document on holographic universes, astral projection, time travel, and psychic powers if you need scientific validation: https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf
Disclaimer: Although there can be bad subliminal makers, they are very rare, and there has been only 2 of them in the history of the community. Someone named MindPower and Rose subliminals. The vast majority (99%) put positive affirmations. It’s best that you verify by checking all the comments, seeing their subscriber count, general personality, etc, but ultimately there’s no guarantee. The only way to make sure the affirmations are 100% positive and safe are to make them yourself or use a subliminal that blocks negative affirmations.
One thing to note is that physical change (biokinesis; search that term)/spiritual subliminals utilize the prana in your body to a certain extent to make changes. It makes sense since physical change is essentially a psychic poweenergy work. So your SR benefits/aura might temporarily decrease. Hydration is also recommended, and you will notice feeling thirsty. Personally drink 20 glasses of water everyday.
Obviously, my interest now turned towards using subliminals to cure nocturnal emissions. Unfortunately there’s a huge lack of subliminals regarding semen-retention or those targeted towards nocturnal emissions. Initially bought a subliminal using a paid request (you pay a subliminal maker for a specialized subliminal), but it didn’t work that well. Desired to be permanently free of nocturnal emissions, or at least reduce the frequency to once a month. So I decided to make my own subliminal. The affirmations will be posted below, and this is how I eventually cured my nocturnal emissions.
Steps on how to make your own subliminal:
  1. Write all the affirmations in a word document and save it.
  2. Download text-to-speech software like Balabolka and output the audio file in wav format (you want both uncompressed + lossless)
  3. Optional but recommended; download an audio editor like Audacity, and fast-forward the audio as much as possible using the “Change Tempo” effect. Personally I speed the audio to one second and then loop it 1000x. Continue the process as much as possible, but never make the audio length less than 1 second. Some subliminal makers make their subliminals even more powerful by creating multiple audio streams of their affirmations using different voices, merging all the voices together, and speeding them up. It’s called layering. Why super-sped affirmations work better can be somewhat explained by this article (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sensorium/201812/experiments-suggest-humans-can-directly-observe-the-quantum), but science still doesn’t have all the answers. Will take time.
  4. Converting the affirmations to binary code (https://www.rapidtables.com/convert/numbeascii-to-binary.html) is a technique some subliminal makers use. Supposedly it penetrates the subconscious faster.
Affirmations Link: https://www.reddit.com/pureretention/comments/hg0tjb/practicing_sr_since_july_2017_finally_conquered/ (same content; scroll down to the subliminal section and download the affirmations file from the mega link)
Listened to this personal subliminal for 1 hour everyday for an entire month. Still listen just to be safe. Took months of testing and editing affirmations to make it perfect. Experienced massive sexual dreams on certain days, more than normal, and found out that entities could be responsible. Try to avoid this subreddit as well, since reading the posts can trigger memories. More energetically sensitive now, and sometimes there’s a lot of low-vibrational energy. On a side-note, porn cripples your aura and invites negative entities (https://www.awakeningstaryoga.com/blog/expanding-away-from-porn-aura).
Non-subliminal solutions:
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMx69hgYq0s (morphic field)
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWK0D1g069I (powerful aura cleanse; Tibetan bowl sounds)
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7moRsibNyMA (reiki)
Subliminal solutions (ordered in terms of effectiveness):
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvyPscRD1ss
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTmnrFzR0_Q (for spells, curses, black magic, etc)
  4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (last resort)
The entire channel is a gem; these were some of the best. Have used them for a few months and feel much lighter and peaceful; experienced only headaches due to subconscious absorbing the affirmations, but zero negative effects.
Advice: Remember to immediately download any subliminal video you find that is useful in wav format (https://www.savethevideo.com/download). Subliminal channels are sometimes deleted by YouTube (spam filter) or the creators themselves.
Waited 3 whole months before deciding to make a Reddit post to make sure the method was 100% foolproof. Remember many people offering solutions in the past, yet 1 month later they would have another wd/nocturnal emission.
The first month there was a lot of fear. Will I have a wet dream/nocturnal emission tonight? Was so traumatized it was difficult getting to sleep every night. After the 2nd month, I experimented with sleeping on my stomach and eating/drinking before bed. Nothing happened. Stopped recently to stay careful.
After 2 years of suffering, this is a method that has worked. Try and see for yourself.
Present day:
How do you feel now? Some days it’s meh (due to flatline) like today; on other days I feel divine. No idea why flatline still occurs. Have regained all the benefits, feel love and happiness all the time. Experience intense states of bliss in meditation more frequently, although it’s just a distraction.
Religiously/Spiritually I’ve moved from Christianity to Buddhism/Advaita Vedanta/parts of New Age. Found them more practical and useful in life. Was inspired to aim for spiritual enlightenment after reading “The 3 pillars of Zen” by Philip Kapleau. Read it, it might change your life.
Have attended a number of meditation retreats now, along with 10-day ones. Everyone reading this post should try it. Understood how much our mental programming defined us, and that we aren’t are thoughts. Our childhood traumas define so much of our habitual reactions. Realized its okay to feel bored rather than chasing after constant stimulation.
Even attended a Jhana retreat, which is exclusive for people who have attended prior retreats. Entered intense states of meditative absorption, understood the permeability/impermanence of reality, and had all sorts of mystical experiences. Experienced past lives; can confirm my mind did not make it up, since it’s an experience you can constantly replicate using the same methods. Before attempting such methods, you need to have the ability to sit down and meditate continuously for at least 3 hours. If you live in the US, attend IMS (Insight Meditation Society) or any prominent Vipassana/Theravada related retreat. Zen is a valid form of enlightenment, but it personally felt unstructured.
Gave up music, took time since I was convinced it was needed for creativity. Instead, it was just a substitute source of dopamine and a way to avoid my emotions. Have much less brain fog after quitting. Only communicate using regular phone calls these days, which no one uses, and Snapchat/WhatsApp for texting. Avoid stories, waste of time. Instagram/TwitteFacebook are a waste of time unless you are using it for business purposes. The only social media you really need is LinkedIn.
Women: You’ll learn more about them by reading romantic novels, Korean mangas, and watching Kdramas then reading all that seduction/red pill stuff. Focus on general charisma (men and women) instead of a specific gender. Read “The Charisma Myth” by Olivia Fox Cabane; it’s the most practical book on social skills I have ever read, and possibly the most life-changing as well. Teaches you self-awareness, applies Buddhist psychology to social interaction. Used to train executives in Google, read it now (and do all the exercises). The bibliography sent me on a rabbit hole that made me read ton of books on psychotherapy, meditation, mindfulness, and Buddhism; this was before SR. Inspired me to practice meditation, although the habit only became regular after SR.
Read books such as Crucial Conversations by Al Switzer, Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Adele Faber (works very well in general since even adults have childhood programming, and can act like children), Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss (FBI's chief international hostage and kidnapping negotiator from 2003 to 2007), Getting More by Stuart Diamond (trains negotiators at Google), and Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff (more theoretical but useful). Also read The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease and What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro. These are all books that will greatly improve your human interactions and contain limited fluff. Have re-read all of these books in difficult times, and they have never let me down. You should read it as well. Even if you become a monk, there’s lots of social infighting even in monasteries. Highly-developed social skills are invaluable whenever you are dealing with individuals. Read “How to make friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie once in a while, since most forget to apply his “basic” advice. Learned a lot about oral presentations by watching Alan Shore on Boston Legal (TV show).
Current position in life? Studying for a bachelor’s degree. My family is financially well-off, and my father is paying for my college tuition and dorm. Scholarships aren’t available for all income levels. Although I come from “privilege”, the above information can help anyone regardless of their financial position. We live in an era where information is accessible to all social classes, so excuses aren’t that relevant. If you’re practicing SR, you are already 20 steps closer to success. The tips above can be applied for free as long as you have a computesmartphone. Read books starting from today, knowledge is a source of power. People spend so much time reading the news, scrolling social media feeds, reacting to comments, chatting about useless things with friends, binging shows on Netflix, browsing YouTube/Reddit, that time quietly passes by. Time is the most valuable commodity you have; don’t waste such a limited resource on things that will contribute nothing towards your purpose in life. Once it’s spent, you can never get it back.
Personally, I schedule the next day before going to bed. Leisure, Reading, Schoolwork, Meditation, everything is mapped out perfectly. Try to eliminate habits that just waste time and stick to your schedule perfectly (working on it myself). If you feel tired after work/studying, take a nap or meditate instead of receiving even more stimulation from videogames, YouTube, or other artificial dopamine sources. Try NoSurf.

Basic Booklist:

Spirituality:
  1. The End of Your World by Adyashanti (fantastic writer; must-read if you have had an awakening experience or believe you are "enlightened")
  2. How to Attain Enlightenment -> The Essence of Enlightenment by James Swartz (best introduction to Advaita Vedanta I have read so far)
  3. I am That by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
  4. In the Buddha's Words by Bhikkhu Bodhi (best introduction to Buddhist scripture)
  5. Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright (secular perspective but informative; his previous book The Moral Animal is a good introduction to evolutionary psychology. Read this first if you are non-spiritual)
  6. Wisdom Wise and Deep by Shaila Catherine (comprehensive introduction by one of the best Jhana teachers in the US)
  7. Manual of Insight by Mahasi Sayadaw
  8. Emptiness: A Practical Guide by Guy Armstrong (good introduction to the Buddhist version of reality)
  9. Books by Loch Kelly (practical guide to non-dual meditation practices within Buddhism; The Little Book of Being by Diana Winston may be a better introduction)
  10. Seeing that Frees by Rob Burbea (really advanced but profound)
  11. http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2007/03/thusnesss-six-stages-of-experience.html (Buddhism > Advaita)
  12. Books by Robert Bruce such as Psychic Self-Defence and Energy Work
  13. Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn
  14. Dream Yoga by Andrew Holecek (amazing/practical book on lucid dreaming -> dream yoga)
  15. Autobiography of a Yogi
  16. The Practice of Brahmacharya by Swami Sivananda and Soaring Eagle (https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/6-years-clean-rebooting-as-the-best-remedy.135983/) if you haven’t read already
  17. Xunzi trans. by Eric Hutton (final evolution of Confucianism)
Novels (use translators mentioned):
http://gen.lib.rus.ec/fiction/? for foreign literature

  1. Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa (Taiko is decent as well, but this one was a masterpiece)
  2. Romance of the Three Kingdoms trans. Moss Roberts
  3. The Dream of the Red Chamber trans. David Hawkes (read it in the summer of 2017, profound but not all may see the deeper meaning)
  4. The Nine Cloud Dream trans. Heinz Insu Fenkl
  5. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (Inspirational for Entrepreneurs, however don’t start adopting this book as economic philosophy. It’s just a novel!)
  6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (read now if you are experiencing an existential crisis)
  7. Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment + The Brothers Karamazov (optional reading; prefer Pevear translation)
  8. Perry Mason and Sherlock Holmes Series (pleasure reading but not useless)
Psychotherapy (never visited a therapist, but found these useful):
  1. Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro (by the founder of EMDR, best practical book on trauma and exercises to resolve it)
  2. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (another immensely practical book on recovering from trauma)
  3. Breaking the Cycle by George Collins (best practical workbook on sexual addiction I have read; all should read)
  4. Get out of your mind and into your life by Steven Hayes (Was mentioned in the charisma myth booklist; take control of your thoughts and mind by the founder of ACT)
  5. Mindful Compassion by Paul Gilbert and Choden (prominent researcher on compassion applied to therapy; part one can be boring, but part two on practical exercises is invaluable)
  6. Feeling Book by David Burns (rightfully a classic book on therapy and CBT; read if you are suffering from depression)
  7. Healing Development Trauma by Laurence Heller (best book on the impact of childhood/development trauma but meant for therapists, might explain why we use addiction to cope from childhood memories; google ACE study as well)
  8. The Boy who was raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry (stories about children experiencing trauma. Increases empathy for yourself and others; you realize how childhood trauma affects how a lot of people think and behave)
  9. Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson MacKenzie (fantastic book on recovering from relationship abuse. Many of us have emotional baggage that fuels coping and addiction loops. Read Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas as well.)
  10. Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff (optional reading, but complimentary)
For biographies, read those of presidents and important leaders. Also about famous/successful individuals. Read all of Ron Chernow’s books. Abuse the Amazon Search Engine and look through their categories. Reading biographies can fundamentally enhance your worldview so you realize that real-life issues are much more nuanced and gray rather than black and white. Also shows how successful people deal with difficult crises and their perspective on life. Especially for public policy. If a President implements an economic policy that has short-term gains, but long-term loss, he has a greater chance of being re-elected. However, short-term loss in favor of long-term gain is the correct policy. Employ critical-thinking! Avoid cable news even if you need to stay informed. Don’t even have a television in my house. Unnecessary. Just read 2 – 3 reputable news sources for 20 minutes max. Sometimes I even avoid the news since there’s too much negativity.
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1unyph/a_tantric_perspective_on_the_use_of_sexual_energy/ (tantric meditation technique that actually works; you are supposed to do it for 1 hour. Optional.)
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/2zn8ev/grounding_201_two_effective_quick_methods/ (energetic protection + grounding method after doing the tantric meditation)
Avoid learning Mantak Chia’s techniques from a book, since some have suffered side-effects to their energetic/biological body. For NEO, Tibetan buddhists practice meditation for 13 years before attempting it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karmamudr%C4%81). Not easy. Not sure about women, since SR streak is more important. Don’t pick a partner to fulfill some kind of emotional void, or due to societal programming where women are held to be the ultimate goal. Spiritual Enlightenment is the ultimate goal now, but even enlightened people need money for food and shelter.
Youtubers I follow are Graham Stephan, Ryan Serhant, Rupert Spira, and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUX1V5UNWP1RUkhLewe77ZQ (cured women objectification for me; wholesome content) although mostly I avoid the website. Easy to loose track of time.
Avoid smoking, alcohol, recreational drug use (https://www.elitedaily.com/wellness/drugs-alcohol-aura-damage/1743959), casual sex (https://mywakingpath.wordpress.com/tag/aura/; sensitive images but useful), and fast food. Budget your money, and learn how to save as much as possible.
Hope everyone reading this post experiences their definition of success and leads a purposeful life. Will end it by stating two quotes that have inspired and guided me:
“You yourself have to change first, or nothing will change for you!”
― Hideaki Sorachi
“It is not important to be better than someone else, but to be better than you were yesterday.”
― Jigoro Kano (Founder of Judo)
Update 1, 2, 3: Added a post summary and the audio as well in the affirmations link
Update 4: https://starseedsunited.com/negative-entities-and-psychic-attacks (basic article on entities)
Some solutions are posted above. Updated* daily routine:
  1. https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1xyp5k/a_simple_and_universal_white_light_protection/ (basic psychic self-defence)
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (at least once everyday; cures sexual dreams and flushes all entities)
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLeubTQv65Q (best shielding subliminal so far; general protection. Listen at least once everyday)
Note: Will continuously update this post based on further clarification. Close to 40,000 character word limit.
submitted by RisingSun7799 to Semenretention [link] [comments]

Practicing SR since July 2017; finally conquered Nocturnal Emissions for 3 Whole Months using Subliminals

2 accounts got shadowbanned for uploading this post. Spam filter kept on removing it on Semenretention. Messaged the moderators for help, but they didn't care. Takes less than 3 minutes to approve a post from the spam folder. No idea if they read this post.

First time making a Reddit post.
Terminology:
Wet dream/WD – sexual dream causing semen emission while sleeping
Nocturnal Emission/NE – semen emission occurring while sleeping even without dreaming
Semen-retention/SR streak – avoiding porn, masturbation, and ejaculation whether conscious or unconscious
Nofap Hardmode – avoiding porn, masturbation, and conscious ejaculation. Unconscious ejaculation/WD is considered fine.

As the title suggests, my current streak started in the middle of June 2017. Haven’t watched any porn or masturbated in 3 years. Experienced almost all the benefits such as massive attraction (men, women, children), an aura/energy surrounding me, enhanced charisma, less need for sleep, insane levels of energy, drive, and motivation, zero anxiety or fear, massive confidence occasionally bordering on arrogance, increased manifestation/LOA, people admiring/respecting me for no reason, online attraction, less procrastination, better athletic performance, greater creativity/intelligence, the desire to live a purposeful life, greater emphasis on spirituality, and much much more. Could probably write several posts just on the benefits themselves. Only thing that didn’t improve was my skin, which was later fixed using subliminals.
It’s been a long journey, so I’ll start with background information, and later elaborate on how I managed to go from nocturnal emissions every 5 days (avg) to having a perfect SR streak for 3 months.
Used to watch anime which led to hentai (2013), and eventually western/japanese porn. Don’t even bother to search these terms on Google. It’s not worth it. Thankfully, those days are long behind me. As a side-note, I discovered the nofap/semen-retention subreddit in November 2017. Didn’t even know about SR before that.
I was raised a Catholic in a fairly religious family. Always started various streaks, and eventually broke them due to boredom/emotional coping/curiosity about new videos. Thankfully, I got good grades, read books, and was interested in self-development, but all that time spent on porn was a complete waste. Assuming I spent at least 2 hours everyday for 4 years (1460 days), it amounts to 122 complete days or around 4 months in total. It’s pretty sad on reflection, but at least the experience is now absorbed, and I can write this post.
On June 2017, after summer break started and final exams were over, I decided to permanently quit this habit. Downloaded an application called Cold Turkey and completely blocked all websites I used to visit. Now use Leechblock, which is available on most browsers (also use it to block/restrict access to non-NSFW websites which impair productivity like ESPN). Started 30 minutes of daily meditation (mindfulness + metta). Still continue the habits to this day, although the length is increased to 1 hour. Read Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana and Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg for instructions. Have re-read these books multiple times.
Mindfulness will allow you to be self-aware of your mental conditioning, while metta (feeling compassion for yourself, a friend, neutral person, and enemy) can remove thoughts of lust and fundamentally alter your mental programming. Compassion is a very powerful exercise. Read “The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer” while you’re at it and learn tonglen. All of these books contain zero fluff, and are invaluable reads.
Started drinking 16 glasses of water (thought it would help skin, but helped in other ways), and doing 100 pushups + 100 sit-ups everyday. Increased it to 200 pushups + 200 sit-ups after 1 month. After 2 months, I made a decent amount of gains (SR helps), and people started asking me workout tips and what gym I go to. Had a Kindle Paperwhite, which is frankly one of my most valued possessions. Still works perfectly fine after 5 years, and costs only $130. Buy one now. Read a lot of books mostly consisting of biographies/spirituality/practical social skills/800+ page novels for around 6 hours per day. Still try to read for at least 15 minutes/1 chapter even when extremely busy. Will post a small booklist at the end of this post.
You can upload books to it for free if you lack money. Visit “gen.lib.rus.ec” without quotes, download the ebook in epub/mobi format, open it with Calibre (https://calibre-ebook.com/), and send it to Kindle using USB. Knowledge is an investment that produces continuous returns. Warren Buffett spends 80% of his time just reading! and takes action based on that knowledge.
Even managed to have the motivation to learn Japanese by joining a foreign language exchange website. People, especially women, accepted and sent a lot of invitations to have a conversation; didn’t realize online attraction was due to SR back then. None of us showed our faces, so my physical appearance had nothing to do with it. From experience, the best way to learn a language was to make a phrase sheet with the most common phrases/questions, such as “okay”, “that’s awesome”, “what is that word in English/Japanese?” Basically a human AI bot. Don’t waste time trying to learn how to write the alphabet, although my primary purpose was to learn how to speak. Google Translate is good enough to understand the pronunciation.
I learned Japanese primarily by watching Terrace House. First watched the episode with subtitles, then re-watched it without, while simultaneously writing all the connectives/conversational phrases. You can try unique methods to remember, but brute-force memorization/review worked the best. Never tried Anki since it was cumbersome to use.
For the accent, the best way is to watch Japanese people trying to speak English, and try to mirror their accent as much as possible. It honestly helps. After 3 months, I could have a full 1 hour conversation in Japanese with a native speaker without looking at any notes. I wasn’t “fluent” (still stuttered and made mistakes), but it was a huge amount of progress for starting from scratch. Eventually after 6 months, I gave up practicing/speaking the language. I was mainly trying to fulfill a childhood fantasy, and I’m glad I tried since I learned a lot from it and got to talk with interesting people. But in reality, I stopped watching anime, and honestly never needed to speak Japanese in real-life. Now I barely remember any of the words, except a few basic phrases. Could probably last 30 seconds of full conversation at best.
So, everything was going great until December 2017. During this time period, I probably had wet dreams/nocturnal emissions every 1 – 2 months. Barely felt much difference since there was a decent time interval between emissions. Drank 2 glasses of water everyday before bed, slept on my stomach, and ate spicy food (practices that cause nocturnal emissions), but was perfectly fine. However in December I started having emissions every 2 weeks. Initially didn’t care about it. In January it started happening every 1 week. Nothing really changed in my life during this time to cause emissions to increase. Then it started happening every 5 days, every 3 days, sometimes even 2 days in a row!
Most of you will have no idea how terrible it feels to be on top of the world, and then suddenly crash down. The difference between living life with/without SR benefits is night and day. Even after sleeping 10 hours, I used to feel completely exhausted. People ignored me, or worse started “joking” around me. Complete disrespect by friends, family, and acquaintances. No energy/motivation to do anything. Constant brain fog, could barely concentrate. Felt even worse than my porn days when I ejaculated everyday. Voice completely shot, started feeling anxious about oral presentations for no reason, when I always excelled. Felt like my soul was dying. Those were really dark times. People started saying I “changed”, and started pointing out and constantly magnifying my flaws. It’s strange how people exaggerate our skills/talents on SR, while they completely ignore them post WD/ejaculation, and focus only on your flaws/mistakes. It makes you lose trust in everyone around you, as if all of them are energy vampires who only like you due to SR.
I grew desperate. During this whole time I meditated, practiced no lust/no arousal as best as possible since July 2017, yet emissions increased massively in frequency. Some occurred due to sexual dreams, but most were nocturnal emissions. Thought I had a UTI at first, and went to a general practitioner. He didn’t seem very reliable, so I went to a prominent urologist. Did all sorts of tests, paid a good amount of money, and the doctor said everything was fine. Having nocturnal emissions every 5 days was perfectly normal at my age. Encouraged me to masturbate regularly if it became an inconvenience :)
So medical science obviously failed. Started following all the tips/methods in this subreddit, and believe me I tried almost everything no matter how uncomfortable or time-consuming. Omad, avoid food/water before bed, vegetarianism, tantric meditation, different diets, various sleeping positions, no/increased meditation before bed, no/more exercise, yogic exercises, qigong, some tips mentioned by Soaring Eagle, prayed to God. None of them worked. The only method I didn’t try extensively were kegels. Initially tried a normal + reverse kegel routine, then found an article by coincidence on this subreddit about someone who permanently damaged their penis from doing kegels. Immediately stopped, thank you to that person for sharing your experience. It’s as if the universe was looking out for me. Best to avoid such risky methods even if you’re desperate. Currently sleep on my back since it avoids any "accidental physical stimulation" from occurring.
So this nocturnal emission phenomena continued for over a year. Some methods worked better than others, while for some, I wasn’t sure if it was merely the placebo effect. In mid-2019 I came across subliminal videos (finally the good part!) on YouTube. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0W5AB1sGr0) This video explains it more thoroughly, but basically you convert affirmations (sentences like “I am happy/smart/handsome”) into audio using text-to-speech software and reprogram your subconscious mind. Tried a beauty subliminal (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEXaAsm-Iys) as a joke, but the next day I noticed changes in my facial structure. Listened for an hour the first day, which was easy given the music. You have no idea how amazing it feels to know that you can control your reality just by using your mind. Completely magical. Supposedly it works due to the Law of Attraction; you can find out more by reading/watching “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, and later reading all the books by Neville Goddard. Started using a skin subliminal as well (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqi8Q80pspk and later moved onto https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COxz8hvl14Y ), and now my skin is completely normal. Visited prominent US dermatologists, tried all sorts of acne medicine including Accutane, and even did SR, yet none of them worked. Skin was pretty terrible, and I was glad it got fixed. Took around 4 months of daily listening although it can be shortelonger depending on your belief, blockages, and levels of positivity. There’s a CIA document on holographic universes, astral projection, time travel, and psychic powers if you need scientific validation: https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf
Disclaimer: Although there can be bad subliminal makers, they are very rare, and there has been only 2 of them in the history of the community. Someone named MindPower and Rose subliminals. The vast majority (99%) put positive affirmations. It’s best that you verify by checking all the comments, seeing their subscriber count, general personality, etc, but ultimately there’s no guarantee. The only way to make sure the affirmations are 100% positive and safe are to make them yourself or use a subliminal that blocks negative affirmations.
One thing to note is that physical change (biokinesis; search that term)/spiritual subliminals utilize the prana in your body to a certain extent to make changes. It makes sense since physical change is essentially a psychic poweenergy work. So your SR benefits/aura might temporarily decrease. Hydration is also recommended, and you will notice feeling thirsty. Personally drink 20 glasses of water everyday.
Obviously, my interest now turned towards using subliminals to cure nocturnal emissions. Unfortunately there’s a huge lack of subliminals regarding semen-retention or those targeted towards nocturnal emissions. Initially bought a subliminal using a paid request (you pay a subliminal maker for a specialized subliminal), but it didn’t work that well. Desired to be permanently free of nocturnal emissions, or at least reduce the frequency to once a month. So I decided to make my own subliminal. The affirmations will be posted below, and this is how I eventually cured my nocturnal emissions.
Steps on how to make your own subliminal:
  1. Write all the affirmations in a word document and save it.
  2. Download text-to-speech software like Balabolka (http://www.cross-plus-a.com/balabolka.htm) and output the audio file in wav format (you want both uncompressed + lossless)
  3. Optional but recommended; download an audio editor like Audacity (https://www.audacityteam.org/), and fast-forward the audio as much as possible using the “Change Tempo” effect. Personally I speed the audio to one second and then loop it 1000x. Continue the process as much as possible, but never make the audio length less than 1 second. Some subliminal makers make their subliminals even more powerful by creating multiple audio streams of their affirmations using different voices, merging all the voices together, and speeding them up. It’s called layering. Why super-sped affirmations work better can be somewhat explained by this article (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sensorium/201812/experiments-suggest-humans-can-directly-observe-the-quantum), but science still doesn’t have all the answers. Will take time.
  4. Converting the affirmations to binary code (https://www.rapidtables.com/convert/numbeascii-to-binary.html) is a technique some subliminal makers use. Supposedly it penetrates the subconscious faster.
Affirmations + Audio Link: https://mega.nz/foldeWcwhhAia#RmD8e0I3uzjyeDdW22wEHg
Listened to this personal subliminal for 1 hour everyday for an entire month. Still listen just to be safe. Took months of testing and editing affirmations to make it perfect. Experienced massive sexual dreams on certain days, more than normal, and found out that entities could be responsible. Try to avoid this subreddit as well, since reading the posts can trigger memories. More energetically sensitive now, and sometimes there’s a lot of low-vibrational energy. On a side-note, porn cripples your aura and invites negative entities (https://www.awakeningstaryoga.com/blog/expanding-away-from-porn-aura).
Non-subliminal solutions:
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5-DrYahaSc (morphic field)
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWK0D1g069I (powerful aura cleanse; Tibetan bowl sounds)
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7moRsibNyMA (reiki)
Subliminal solutions (ordered in terms of effectiveness):
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLeubTQv65Q
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvyPscRD1ss
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTmnrFzR0_Q (for spells, curses, black magic, etc)
  4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (last resort)
The entire channel is a gem; these were some of the best. Have used them for a few months and feel much lighter and peaceful; experienced only headaches due to subconscious absorbing the affirmations, but zero negative effects.
Advice: Remember to immediately download any subliminal video you find that is useful in wav format (https://www.savethevideo.com/download). Subliminal channels are sometimes deleted by YouTube (spam filter) or the creators themselves.
Waited 3 whole months before deciding to make a Reddit post to make sure the method was 100% foolproof. Remember many people offering solutions in the past, yet 1 month later they would have another wd/nocturnal emission.
The first month there was a lot of fear. Will I have a wet dream/nocturnal emission tonight? Was so traumatized it was difficult getting to sleep every night. After the 2nd month, I experimented with sleeping on my stomach and eating/drinking before bed. Nothing happened. Stopped recently to stay careful.
After 2 years of suffering, this is a method that has worked. Try and see for yourself.

Present day:
How do you feel now? Some days it’s meh (due to flatline) like today; on other days I feel divine. No idea why flatline still occurs. Have regained all the benefits, feel love and happiness all the time. Experience intense states of bliss in meditation more frequently, although it’s just a distraction.
Religiously/Spiritually I’ve moved from Christianity to Buddhism/Advaita Vedanta/parts of New Age. Found them more practical and useful in life. Was inspired to aim for spiritual enlightenment after reading “The 3 pillars of Zen” by Philip Kapleau. Read it, it might change your life.
Have attended a number of meditation retreats now, along with 10-day ones. Everyone reading this post should try it. Understood how much our mental programming defined us, and that we aren’t are thoughts. Our childhood traumas define so much of our habitual reactions. Realized its okay to feel bored rather than chasing after constant stimulation.
Even attended a Jhana retreat, which is exclusive for people who have attended prior retreats. Entered intense states of meditative absorption, understood the permeability/impermanence of reality, and had all sorts of mystical experiences. Experienced past lives; can confirm my mind did not make it up, since it’s an experience you can constantly replicate using the same methods. Before attempting such methods, you need to have the ability to sit down and meditate continuously for at least 3 hours. If you live in the US, attend IMS (Insight Meditation Society) or any prominent Vipassana/Theravada related retreat. Zen is a valid form of enlightenment, but it personally felt unstructured.
Gave up music, took time since I was convinced it was needed for creativity. Instead, it was just a substitute source of dopamine and a way to avoid my emotions. Have much less brain fog after quitting. Only communicate using regular phone calls these days, which no one uses, and Snapchat/WhatsApp for texting. Avoid stories, waste of time. Instagram/TwitteFacebook are a waste of time unless you are using it for business purposes. The only social media you really need is LinkedIn.
Women: You’ll learn more about them by reading romantic novels, Korean mangas, and watching Kdramas then reading all that seduction/red pill stuff. Focus on general charisma (men and women) instead of a specific gender. Read “The Charisma Myth” by Olivia Fox Cabane; it’s the most practical book on social skills I have ever read, and possibly the most life-changing as well. Teaches you self-awareness, applies Buddhist psychology to social interaction. Used to train executives in Google, read it now (and do all the exercises). The bibliography sent me on a rabbit hole that made me read ton of books on psychotherapy, meditation, mindfulness, and Buddhism; this was before SR. Inspired me to practice meditation, although the habit only became regular after SR.
Read books such as Crucial Conversations by Al Switzer, Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Adele Faber (works very well in general since even adults have childhood programming, and can act like children), Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss (FBI's chief international hostage and kidnapping negotiator from 2003 to 2007), Getting More by Stuart Diamond (trains negotiators at Google), and Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff (more theoretical but useful). Also read The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease and What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro. These are all books that will greatly improve your human interactions and contain limited fluff. Have re-read all of these books in difficult times, and they have never let me down. You should read it as well. Even if you become a monk, there’s lots of social infighting even in monasteries. Highly-developed social skills are invaluable whenever you are dealing with individuals. Read “How to make friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie once in a while, since most forget to apply his “basic” advice. Learned a lot about oral presentations by watching Alan Shore on Boston Legal (TV show).
Current position in life? Studying for a bachelor’s degree. My family is financially well-off, and my father is paying for my college tuition and dorm. Scholarships aren’t available for all income levels. Although I come from “privilege”, the above information can help anyone regardless of their financial position. We live in an era where information is accessible to all social classes, so excuses aren’t that relevant. If you’re practicing SR, you are already 20 steps closer to success. The tips above can be applied for free as long as you have a computesmartphone. Read books starting from today, knowledge is a source of power. People spend so much time reading the news, scrolling social media feeds, reacting to comments, chatting about useless things with friends, binging shows on Netflix, browsing YouTube/Reddit, that time quietly passes by. Time is the most valuable commodity you have; don’t waste such a limited resource on things that will contribute nothing towards your purpose in life. Once it’s spent, you can never get it back.
Personally, I schedule the next day before going to bed. Leisure, Reading, Schoolwork, Meditation, everything is mapped out perfectly. Try to eliminate habits that just waste time and stick to your schedule perfectly (working on it myself). If you feel tired after work/studying, take a nap or meditate instead of receiving even more stimulation from videogames, YouTube, or other artificial dopamine sources. Try NoSurf.

Basic Booklist:

Spirituality:
  1. The End of Your World by Adyashanti (fantastic writer; must-read if you have had an awakening experience or believe you are "enlightened")
  2. How to Attain Enlightenment -> The Essence of Enlightenment by James Swartz (best introduction to Advaita Vedanta I have read so far)
  3. I am That by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj (essence of Advaita)
  4. In the Buddha's Words by Bhikkhu Bodhi (best introduction to Buddhist scripture)
  5. Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright (secular perspective but informative; his previous book The Moral Animal is a good introduction to evolutionary psychology. Read this first if you are non-spiritual)
  6. Wisdom Wise and Deep by Shaila Catherine (comprehensive introduction by one of the best Jhana teachers in the US)
  7. The Visuddhimagga
  8. Manual of Insight by Mahasi Sayadaw
  9. Emptiness: A Practical Guide by Guy Armstrong (good introduction to the Buddhist version of reality)
  10. Books by Loch Kelly (practical guide to non-dual meditation practices within Buddhism; The Little Book of Being by Diana Winston may be a better introduction)
  11. Seeing that Frees by Rob Burbea (really advanced but profound)
  12. http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2007/03/thusnesss-six-stages-of-experience.html (Buddhism > Advaita; ebooks in sidebar)
  13. Books by Robert Bruce such as Psychic Self-Defence and Energy Work
  14. Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn
  15. Dream Yoga by Andrew Holecek (amazing/practical book on lucid dreaming -> dream yoga)
  16. Autobiography of a Yogi
  17. The Practice of Brahmacharya by Swami Sivananda and Soaring Eagle (https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/6-years-clean-rebooting-as-the-best-remedy.135983/) if you haven’t read already
  18. Xunzi trans. by Eric Hutton (final evolution of Confucianism)
Novels (use translators mentioned):
http://gen.lib.rus.ec/fiction/ for foreign literature

  1. Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa (Taiko is decent as well, but this one was a masterpiece)
  2. Romance of the Three Kingdoms trans. Moss Roberts
  3. The Dream of the Red Chamber trans. David Hawkes (read it in the summer of 2017, profound but not all may see the deeper meaning)
  4. The Nine Cloud Dream trans. Heinz Insu Fenkl
  5. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (Inspirational for Entrepreneurs, however don’t start adopting this book as economic philosophy. It’s just a novel!)
  6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (read now if you are experiencing an existential crisis)
  7. Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment + The Brothers Karamazov (optional reading; prefer Pevear translation)
  8. Perry Mason and Sherlock Holmes Series (pleasure reading but not useless)
Psychotherapy (never visited a therapist, but found these useful):
  1. Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro (by the founder of EMDR, best practical book on trauma and exercises to resolve it)
  2. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (another immensely practical book on recovering from trauma)
  3. Breaking the Cycle by George Collins (best practical workbook on sexual addiction I have read; all should read)
  4. Get out of your mind and into your life by Steven Hayes (Was mentioned in the charisma myth booklist; take control of your thoughts and mind by the founder of ACT)
  5. Mindful Compassion by Paul Gilbert and Choden (prominent researcher on compassion applied to therapy; part one can be boring, but part two on practical exercises is invaluable)
  6. Feeling Book by David Burns (rightfully a classic book on therapy and CBT; read if you are suffering from depression)
  7. Healing Development Trauma by Laurence Heller (best book on the impact of childhood/development trauma but meant for therapists, might explain why we use addiction to cope from childhood memories; google ACE study as well)
  8. The Boy who was raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry (stories about children experiencing trauma. Increases empathy for yourself and others; you realize how childhood trauma affects how a lot of people think and behave)
  9. Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson MacKenzie (fantastic book on recovering from relationship abuse. Many of us have emotional baggage that fuels coping and addiction loops. Read Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas as well.)
  10. Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff (optional reading, but complimentary)
For biographies, read those of presidents and important leaders. Also about famous/successful individuals. Read all of Ron Chernow’s books. Abuse the Amazon Search Engine and look through their categories. Reading biographies can fundamentally enhance your worldview so you realize that real-life issues are much more nuanced and gray rather than black and white. Also shows how successful people deal with difficult crises and their perspective on life. Especially for public policy. If a President implements an economic policy that has short-term gains, but long-term loss, he has a greater chance of being re-elected. However, short-term loss in favor of long-term gain is the correct policy. Employ critical-thinking! Avoid cable news even if you need to stay informed. Don’t even have a television in my house. Unnecessary. Just read 2 – 3 reputable news sources for 20 minutes max. Sometimes I even avoid the news since there’s too much negativity.
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1unyph/a_tantric_perspective_on_the_use_of_sexual_energy/ (tantric meditation technique that actually works; you are supposed to do it for 1 hour. Optional.)
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/2zn8ev/grounding_201_two_effective_quick_methods/ (grounding method after doing the tantric meditation)
Avoid learning Mantak Chia’s techniques from a book, since some have suffered side-effects to their energetic/biological body. Zero advice for those practicing NEO. Must be hard. Not sure about women, since SR streak is more important. Don’t pick a partner to fulfill some kind of emotional void, or due to societal programming where women are held to be the ultimate goal. Spiritual Enlightenment is the ultimate goal now, but even enlightened people need money for food and shelter.
Youtubers I follow are Graham Stephan, Ryan Serhant, Rupert Spira, and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUX1V5UNWP1RUkhLewe77ZQ (cured women objectification for me; wholesome content) although mostly I avoid the website. Easy to loose track of time.
Avoid smoking, alcohol, recreational drug use (https://www.elitedaily.com/wellness/drugs-alcohol-aura-damage/1743959, http://sshc.in/?p=1123 ), casual sex (https://mywakingpath.wordpress.com/tag/aura/; sensitive images but useful), and fast food. Budget your money, and learn how to save as much as possible.
Hope everyone reading this post experiences their definition of success and leads a purposeful life. Will end it by stating two quotes that have inspired and guided me:
“You yourself have to change first, or nothing will change for you!”
― Hideaki Sorachi
“It is not important to be better than someone else, but to be better than you were yesterday.”
― Jigoro Kano (Founder of Judo)

Update 1: Made the instructions regarding super-sped affirmations more clearer.
Update 2: Added the audio file as well to the affirmations link since someone requested it
Update 3: https://starseedsunited.com/negative-entities-and-psychic-attacks (basic article on entities)
Some solutions are posted above. Updated* daily routine:
  1. https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1xyp5k/a_simple_and_universal_white_light_protection/ (basic psychic self-defence)
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (at least once everyday; cures sexual dreams and flushes all entities)
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLeubTQv65Q (best shielding subliminal so far; general protection. Listen at least once everyday)
Note: Will continuously update this post based on further clarification.
submitted by RisingSun7799 to pureretention [link] [comments]

Practicing SR since July 2017; finally conquered Nocturnal Emissions for 3 Whole Months using Subliminals

2 accounts got shadowbanned for uploading this post. Spam filter kept on removing it this post. Messaged the moderators, but received no answer. Removed many links, so check post history for full version.

Estimated Reading Time: 15 minutes
Brief summary of post:
  1. History of Journey
  2. Using Subliminals (affirmations converted into audio) to reprogram the subconscious, overcome nocturnal emissions, and turbo-charge the Law of Attraction
  3. Experience from meditation retreats
  4. Massive booklist covering psychotherapy, spirituality, and general books such as negotiating and advanced social skills
  5. Fundamental shifts that occurred
  6. Experiences with semen-retention benefits
  7. How I overcame and conquered negative entities
  8. Tantric meditation method that actually works with zero side effects
  9. Experience on speaking Japanese for 1 full hour with native speakers without notes after 3 months of learning

Terminology:
Wet dream/WD – sexual dream causing semen emission while sleeping
Nocturnal Emission/NE – semen emission occurring while sleeping even without dreaming
Semen-retention/SR streak – avoiding porn, masturbation, and ejaculation whether conscious or unconscious
Nofap Hardmode – avoiding porn, masturbation, and conscious ejaculation. Unconscious ejaculation/WD is considered fine.

As the title suggests, my current streak started in the middle of June 2017. Haven’t watched any porn or masturbated in 3 years. Experienced almost all the benefits such as massive attraction (men, women, children), an aura/energy surrounding me, enhanced charisma, less need for sleep, insane levels of energy, drive, and motivation, zero anxiety or fear, massive confidence occasionally bordering on arrogance, increased manifestation/LOA, people admiring/respecting me for no reason, online attraction, less procrastination, better athletic performance, greater creativity/intelligence, the desire to live a purposeful life, greater emphasis on spirituality, and much much more. Could probably write several posts just on the benefits themselves. Only thing that didn’t improve was my skin, which was later fixed using subliminals.
It’s been a long journey, so I’ll start with background information, and later elaborate on how I managed to go from nocturnal emissions every 5 days (avg) to having a perfect SR streak for 3 months.
Used to watch anime which led to hentai (2013), and eventually western/japanese porn. Don’t even bother to search these terms on Google. It’s not worth it. Thankfully, those days are long behind me. As a side-note, I discovered the nofap/semen-retention subreddit in November 2017. Didn’t even know about SR before that.
I was raised a Catholic in a fairly religious family. Always started various streaks, and eventually broke them due to boredom/emotional coping/curiosity about new videos. Thankfully, I got good grades, read books, and was interested in self-development, but all that time spent on porn was a complete waste. Assuming I spent at least 2 hours everyday for 4 years (1460 days), it amounts to 122 complete days or around 4 months in total. It’s pretty sad on reflection, but at least the experience is now absorbed, and I can write this post.
On June 2017, after summer break started and final exams were over, I decided to permanently quit this habit. Downloaded an application called Cold Turkey and completely blocked all websites I used to visit. Now use Leechblock, which is available on most browsers (also use it to block/restrict access to non-NSFW websites which impair productivity like ESPN). Started 30 minutes of daily meditation (mindfulness + metta). Still continue the habits to this day, although the length is increased to 1 hour. Read Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana and Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg for instructions. Have re-read these books multiple times.
Mindfulness will allow you to be self-aware of your mental conditioning, while metta (feeling compassion for yourself, a friend, neutral person, and enemy) can remove thoughts of lust and fundamentally alter your mental programming. Compassion is a very powerful exercise. Read “The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer” while you’re at it and learn tonglen. All of these books contain zero fluff, and are invaluable reads.
Started drinking 16 glasses of water (thought it would help skin, but helped in other ways), and doing 100 pushups + 100 sit-ups everyday. Increased it to 200 pushups + 200 sit-ups after 1 month. After 2 months, I made a decent amount of gains (SR helps), and people started asking me workout tips and what gym I go to. Had a Kindle Paperwhite, which is frankly one of my most valued possessions. Still works perfectly fine after 5 years, and costs only $130. Buy one now. Read a lot of books mostly consisting of biographies/spirituality/practical social skills/800+ page novels for around 6 hours per day. Still try to read for at least 15 minutes/1 chapter even when extremely busy. Will post a small booklist at the end of this post.
You can upload books to it for free if you lack money. Visit (gen.lib.rus.ec), download the ebook in epub/mobi format, open it with Calibre (https://calibre-ebook.com/), and send it to Kindle using USB. Knowledge is an investment that produces continuous returns. Warren Buffett spends 80% of his time just reading! and takes action based on that knowledge.
Even managed to have the motivation to learn Japanese by joining a foreign language exchange website. People, especially women, accepted and sent a lot of invitations to have a conversation; didn’t realize online attraction was due to SR back then. None of us showed our faces, so my physical appearance had nothing to do with it. From experience, the best way to learn a language was to make a phrase sheet with the most common phrases/questions, such as “okay”, “that’s awesome”, “what is that word in English/Japanese?” Basically a human AI bot. Don’t waste time trying to learn how to write the alphabet, although my primary purpose was to learn how to speak. Google Translate is good enough to understand the pronunciation.
I learned Japanese primarily by watching Terrace House. First watched the episode with subtitles, then re-watched it without, while simultaneously writing all the connectives/conversational phrases. You can try unique methods to remember, but brute-force memorization/review worked the best. Never tried Anki since it was cumbersome to use.
For the accent, the best way is to watch Japanese people trying to speak English, and try to mirror their accent as much as possible. It honestly helps. After 3 months, I could have a full 1 hour conversation in Japanese with a native speaker without looking at any notes. I wasn’t “fluent” (still stuttered and made mistakes), but it was a huge amount of progress for starting from scratch. Eventually after 6 months, I gave up practicing/speaking the language. I was mainly trying to fulfill a childhood fantasy, and I’m glad I tried since I learned a lot from it and got to talk with interesting people. But in reality, I stopped watching anime, and honestly never needed to speak Japanese in real-life. Now I barely remember any of the words, except a few basic phrases. Could probably last 30 seconds of full conversation at best.
So, everything was going great until December 2017. During this time period, I probably had wet dreams/nocturnal emissions every 1 – 2 months. Barely felt much difference since there was a decent time interval between emissions. Drank 2 glasses of water everyday before bed, slept on my stomach, and ate spicy food (practices that cause nocturnal emissions), but was perfectly fine. However in December I started having emissions every 2 weeks. Initially didn’t care about it. In January it started happening every 1 week. Nothing really changed in my life during this time to cause emissions to increase. Then it started happening every 5 days, every 3 days, sometimes even 2 days in a row!
Most of you will have no idea how terrible it feels to be on top of the world, and then suddenly crash down. The difference between living life with/without SR benefits is night and day. Even after sleeping 10 hours, I used to feel completely exhausted. People ignored me, or worse started “joking” around me. Complete disrespect by friends, family, and acquaintances. No energy/motivation to do anything. Constant brain fog, could barely concentrate. Felt even worse than my porn days when I ejaculated everyday. Voice completely shot, started feeling anxious about oral presentations for no reason, when I always excelled. Felt like my soul was dying. Those were really dark times. People started saying I “changed”, and started pointing out and constantly magnifying my flaws. It’s strange how people exaggerate our skills/talents on SR, while they completely ignore them post WD/ejaculation, and focus only on your flaws/mistakes. It makes you lose trust in everyone around you, as if all of them are energy vampires who only like you due to SR.
I grew desperate. During this whole time I meditated, practiced no lust/no arousal as best as possible since July 2017, yet emissions increased massively in frequency. Some occurred due to sexual dreams, but most were nocturnal emissions. Thought I had a UTI at first, and went to a general practitioner. He didn’t seem very reliable, so I went to a prominent urologist. Did all sorts of tests, paid a good amount of money, and the doctor said everything was fine. Having nocturnal emissions every 5 days was perfectly normal at my age. Encouraged me to masturbate regularly if it became an inconvenience :)
So medical science obviously failed. Started following all the tips/methods in this subreddit, and believe me I tried almost everything no matter how uncomfortable or time-consuming. Omad, avoid food/water before bed, vegetarianism, tantric meditation, different diets, various sleeping positions, no/increased meditation before bed, no/more exercise, yogic exercises, qigong, some tips mentioned by Soaring Eagle, prayed to God. None of them worked. The only method I didn’t try extensively were kegels. Initially tried a normal + reverse kegel routine, then found an article by coincidence on this subreddit about someone who permanently damaged their penis from doing kegels. Immediately stopped, thank you to that person for sharing your experience. It’s as if the universe was looking out for me. Best to avoid such risky methods even if you’re desperate. Currently sleep on my back since it avoids any "accidental physical stimulation" from occurring.
So this nocturnal emission phenomena continued for over a year. Some methods worked better than others, while for some, I wasn’t sure if it was merely the placebo effect. In mid-2019 I came across subliminal videos (finally the good part!) on YouTube. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0W5AB1sGr0) This video explains it more thoroughly, but basically you convert affirmations (sentences like “I am happy/smart/handsome”) into audio using text-to-speech software and reprogram your subconscious mind. Tried a beauty subliminal (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEXaAsm-Iys) as a joke, but the next day I noticed changes in my facial structure. Listened for an hour the first day, which was easy given the music. You have no idea how amazing it feels to know that you can control your reality just by using your mind. Completely magical. Supposedly it works due to the Law of Attraction; you can find out more by reading/watching “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, and later reading all the books by Neville Goddard. Started using a skin subliminal as well (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqi8Q80pspk and later moved onto https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COxz8hvl14Y ), and now my skin is completely normal. Visited prominent US dermatologists, tried all sorts of acne medicine including Accutane, and even did SR, yet none of them worked. Skin was pretty terrible, and I was glad it got fixed. Took around 4 months of daily listening although it can be shortelonger depending on your belief, blockages, and levels of positivity. There’s a CIA document on holographic universes, astral projection, time travel, and psychic powers if you need scientific validation: https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf
Disclaimer: Although there can be bad subliminal makers, they are very rare, and there has been only 2 of them in the history of the community. Someone named MindPower and Rose subliminals. The vast majority (99%) put positive affirmations. It’s best that you verify by checking all the comments, seeing their subscriber count, general personality, etc, but ultimately there’s no guarantee. The only way to make sure the affirmations are 100% positive and safe are to make them yourself or use a subliminal that blocks negative affirmations.
One thing to note is that physical change (biokinesis; search that term)/spiritual subliminals utilize the prana in your body to a certain extent to make changes. It makes sense since physical change is essentially a psychic poweenergy work. So your SR benefits/aura might temporarily decrease. Hydration is also recommended, and you will notice feeling thirsty. Personally drink 20 glasses of water everyday.
Obviously, my interest now turned towards using subliminals to cure nocturnal emissions. Unfortunately there’s a huge lack of subliminals regarding semen-retention or those targeted towards nocturnal emissions. Initially bought a subliminal using a paid request (you pay a subliminal maker for a specialized subliminal), but it didn’t work that well. Desired to be permanently free of nocturnal emissions, or at least reduce the frequency to once a month. So I decided to make my own subliminal. The affirmations will be posted below, and this is how I eventually cured my nocturnal emissions.
Steps on how to make your own subliminal:
  1. Write all the affirmations in a word document and save it.
  2. Download text-to-speech software like Balabolka and output the audio file in wav format (you want both uncompressed + lossless)
  3. Optional but recommended; download an audio editor like Audacity, and fast-forward the audio as much as possible using the “Change Tempo” effect. Personally I speed the audio to one second and then loop it 1000x. Continue the process as much as possible, but never make the audio length less than 1 second. Some subliminal makers make their subliminals even more powerful by creating multiple audio streams of their affirmations using different voices, merging all the voices together, and speeding them up. It’s called layering. Why super-sped affirmations work better can be somewhat explained by this article (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sensorium/201812/experiments-suggest-humans-can-directly-observe-the-quantum), but science still doesn’t have all the answers. Will take time.
  4. Converting the affirmations to binary code (https://www.rapidtables.com/convert/numbeascii-to-binary.html) is a technique some subliminal makers use. Supposedly it penetrates the subconscious faster.
Affirmations Link: https://www.reddit.com/pureretention/comments/hg0tjb/practicing_sr_since_july_2017_finally_conquered/ (same content; scroll down to the subliminal section and download the affirmations file from the mega link)
Listened to this personal subliminal for 1 hour everyday for an entire month. Still listen just to be safe. Took months of testing and editing affirmations to make it perfect. Experienced massive sexual dreams on certain days, more than normal, and found out that entities could be responsible. Try to avoid this subreddit as well, since reading the posts can trigger memories. More energetically sensitive now, and sometimes there’s a lot of low-vibrational energy. On a side-note, porn cripples your aura and invites negative entities (https://www.awakeningstaryoga.com/blog/expanding-away-from-porn-aura).
Non-subliminal solutions:
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMx69hgYq0s (morphic field)
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWK0D1g069I (powerful aura cleanse; Tibetan bowl sounds)
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7moRsibNyMA (reiki)
Subliminal solutions (ordered in terms of effectiveness):
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLeubTQv65Q
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvyPscRD1ss
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTmnrFzR0_Q (for spells, curses, black magic, etc)
  4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (last resort)
The entire channel is a gem; these were some of the best. Have used them for a few months and feel much lighter and peaceful; experienced only headaches due to subconscious absorbing the affirmations, but zero negative effects.
Advice: Remember to immediately download any subliminal video you find that is useful in wav format (https://www.savethevideo.com/download). Subliminal channels are sometimes deleted by YouTube (spam filter) or the creators themselves.
Waited 3 whole months before deciding to make a Reddit post to make sure the method was 100% foolproof. Remember many people offering solutions in the past, yet 1 month later they would have another wd/nocturnal emission.
The first month there was a lot of fear. Will I have a wet dream/nocturnal emission tonight? Was so traumatized it was difficult getting to sleep every night. After the 2nd month, I experimented with sleeping on my stomach and eating/drinking before bed. Nothing happened. Stopped recently to stay careful.
After 2 years of suffering, this is a method that has worked. Try and see for yourself.

Present day:
How do you feel now? Some days it’s meh (due to flatline) like today; on other days I feel divine. No idea why flatline still occurs. Have regained all the benefits, feel love and happiness all the time. Experience intense states of bliss in meditation more frequently, although it’s just a distraction.
Religiously/Spiritually I’ve moved from Christianity to Buddhism/Advaita Vedanta/parts of New Age. Found them more practical and useful in life. Was inspired to aim for spiritual enlightenment after reading “The 3 pillars of Zen” by Philip Kapleau. Read it, it might change your life.
Have attended a number of meditation retreats now, along with 10-day ones. Everyone reading this post should try it. Understood how much our mental programming defined us, and that we aren’t are thoughts. Our childhood traumas define so much of our habitual reactions. Realized its okay to feel bored rather than chasing after constant stimulation.
Even attended a Jhana retreat, which is exclusive for people who have attended prior retreats. Entered intense states of meditative absorption, understood the permeability/impermanence of reality, and had all sorts of mystical experiences. Experienced past lives; can confirm my mind did not make it up, since it’s an experience you can constantly replicate using the same methods. Before attempting such methods, you need to have the ability to sit down and meditate continuously for at least 3 hours. If you live in the US, attend IMS (Insight Meditation Society) or any prominent Vipassana/Theravada related retreat. Zen is a valid form of enlightenment, but it personally felt unstructured.
Gave up music, took time since I was convinced it was needed for creativity. Instead, it was just a substitute source of dopamine and a way to avoid my emotions. Have much less brain fog after quitting. Only communicate using regular phone calls these days, which no one uses, and Snapchat/WhatsApp for texting. Avoid stories, waste of time. Instagram/TwitteFacebook are a waste of time unless you are using it for business purposes. The only social media you really need is LinkedIn.
Women: You’ll learn more about them by reading romantic novels, Korean mangas, and watching Kdramas then reading all that seduction/red pill stuff. Focus on general charisma (men and women) instead of a specific gender. Read “The Charisma Myth” by Olivia Fox Cabane; it’s the most practical book on social skills I have ever read, and possibly the most life-changing as well. Teaches you self-awareness, applies Buddhist psychology to social interaction. Used to train executives in Google, read it now (and do all the exercises). The bibliography sent me on a rabbit hole that made me read ton of books on psychotherapy, meditation, mindfulness, and Buddhism; this was before SR. Inspired me to practice meditation, although the habit only became regular after SR.
Read books such as Crucial Conversations by Al Switzer, Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Adele Faber (works very well in general since even adults have childhood programming, and can act like children), Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss (FBI's chief international hostage and kidnapping negotiator from 2003 to 2007), Getting More by Stuart Diamond (trains negotiators at Google), and Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff (more theoretical but useful). Also read The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease and What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro. These are all books that will greatly improve your human interactions and contain limited fluff. Have re-read all of these books in difficult times, and they have never let me down. You should read it as well. Even if you become a monk, there’s lots of social infighting even in monasteries. Highly-developed social skills are invaluable whenever you are dealing with individuals. Read “How to make friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie once in a while, since most forget to apply his “basic” advice. Learned a lot about oral presentations by watching Alan Shore on Boston Legal (TV show).
Current position in life? Studying for a bachelor’s degree. My family is financially well-off, and my father is paying for my college tuition and dorm. Scholarships aren’t available for all income levels. Although I come from “privilege”, the above information can help anyone regardless of their financial position. We live in an era where information is accessible to all social classes, so excuses aren’t that relevant. If you’re practicing SR, you are already 20 steps closer to success. The tips above can be applied for free as long as you have a computesmartphone. Read books starting from today, knowledge is a source of power. People spend so much time reading the news, scrolling social media feeds, reacting to comments, chatting about useless things with friends, binging shows on Netflix, browsing YouTube/Reddit, that time quietly passes by. Time is the most valuable commodity you have; don’t waste such a limited resource on things that will contribute nothing towards your purpose in life. Once it’s spent, you can never get it back.
Personally, I schedule the next day before going to bed. Leisure, Reading, Schoolwork, Meditation, everything is mapped out perfectly. Try to eliminate habits that just waste time and stick to your schedule perfectly (working on it myself). If you feel tired after work/studying, take a nap or meditate instead of receiving even more stimulation from videogames, YouTube, or other artificial dopamine sources. Try NoSurf.

Basic Booklist:

Spirituality:
  1. The End of Your World by Adyashanti (fantastic writer; must-read if you have had an awakening experience or believe you are "enlightened")
  2. How to Attain Enlightenment -> The Essence of Enlightenment by James Swartz (best introduction to Advaita Vedanta I have read so far)
  3. I am That by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
  4. In the Buddha's Words by Bhikkhu Bodhi (best introduction to Buddhist scripture)
  5. Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright (secular perspective but informative; his previous book The Moral Animal is a good introduction to evolutionary psychology. Read this first if you are non-spiritual)
  6. Wisdom Wise and Deep by Shaila Catherine (comprehensive introduction by one of the best Jhana teachers in the US)
  7. Manual of Insight by Mahasi Sayadaw
  8. Emptiness: A Practical Guide by Guy Armstrong (good introduction to the Buddhist version of reality)
  9. Books by Loch Kelly (practical guide to non-dual meditation practices within Buddhism; The Little Book of Being by Diana Winston may be a better introduction)
  10. Seeing that Frees by Rob Burbea (really advanced but profound)
  11. http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2007/03/thusnesss-six-stages-of-experience.html (Buddhism > Advaita)
  12. Books by Robert Bruce such as Psychic Self-Defence and Energy Work
  13. Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn
  14. Dream Yoga by Andrew Holecek (amazing/practical book on lucid dreaming -> dream yoga)
  15. Autobiography of a Yogi
  16. The Practice of Brahmacharya by Swami Sivananda and Soaring Eagle (https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/6-years-clean-rebooting-as-the-best-remedy.135983/) if you haven’t read already
  17. Xunzi trans. by Eric Hutton (final evolution of Confucianism)
Novels (use translators mentioned):
http://gen.lib.rus.ec/fiction/? for foreign literature

  1. Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa (Taiko is decent as well, but this one was a masterpiece)
  2. Romance of the Three Kingdoms trans. Moss Roberts
  3. The Dream of the Red Chamber trans. David Hawkes (read it in the summer of 2017, profound but not all may see the deeper meaning)
  4. The Nine Cloud Dream trans. Heinz Insu Fenkl
  5. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (Inspirational for Entrepreneurs, however don’t start adopting this book as economic philosophy. It’s just a novel!)
  6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (read now if you are experiencing an existential crisis)
  7. Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment + The Brothers Karamazov (optional reading; prefer Pevear translation)
  8. Perry Mason and Sherlock Holmes Series (pleasure reading but not useless)
Psychotherapy (never visited a therapist, but found these useful):
  1. Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro (by the founder of EMDR, best practical book on trauma and exercises to resolve it)
  2. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (another immensely practical book on recovering from trauma)
  3. Breaking the Cycle by George Collins (best practical workbook on sexual addiction I have read; all should read)
  4. Get out of your mind and into your life by Steven Hayes (Was mentioned in the charisma myth booklist; take control of your thoughts and mind by the founder of ACT)
  5. Mindful Compassion by Paul Gilbert and Choden (prominent researcher on compassion applied to therapy; part one can be boring, but part two on practical exercises is invaluable)
  6. Feeling Book by David Burns (rightfully a classic book on therapy and CBT; read if you are suffering from depression)
  7. Healing Development Trauma by Laurence Heller (best book on the impact of childhood/development trauma but meant for therapists, might explain why we use addiction to cope from childhood memories; google ACE study as well)
  8. The Boy who was raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry (stories about children experiencing trauma. Increases empathy for yourself and others; you realize how childhood trauma affects how a lot of people think and behave)
  9. Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson MacKenzie (fantastic book on recovering from relationship abuse. Many of us have emotional baggage that fuels coping and addiction loops. Read Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas as well.)
  10. Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff (optional reading, but complimentary)
For biographies, read those of presidents and important leaders. Also about famous/successful individuals. Read all of Ron Chernow’s books. Abuse the Amazon Search Engine and look through their categories. Reading biographies can fundamentally enhance your worldview so you realize that real-life issues are much more nuanced and gray rather than black and white. Also shows how successful people deal with difficult crises and their perspective on life. Especially for public policy. If a President implements an economic policy that has short-term gains, but long-term loss, he has a greater chance of being re-elected. However, short-term loss in favor of long-term gain is the correct policy. Employ critical-thinking! Avoid cable news even if you need to stay informed. Don’t even have a television in my house. Unnecessary. Just read 2 – 3 reputable news sources for 20 minutes max. Sometimes I even avoid the news since there’s too much negativity.
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1unyph/a_tantric_perspective_on_the_use_of_sexual_energy/ (tantric meditation/sexual transmutation technique that actually works; you are supposed to do it for 1 hour. Optional.)
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/2zn8ev/grounding_201_two_effective_quick_methods/ (energetic protection + grounding method after doing the tantric meditation)
Avoid learning Mantak Chia’s techniques from a book, since some have suffered side-effects to their energetic/biological body. For NEO, Tibetan buddhists practice meditation for 13 years before attempting it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karmamudr%C4%81). Not easy. Not sure about women, since SR streak is more important. Don’t pick a partner to fulfill some kind of emotional void, or due to societal programming where women are held to be the ultimate goal. Spiritual Enlightenment is the ultimate goal now, but even enlightened people need money for food and shelter.
Youtubers I follow are Graham Stephan, Ryan Serhant, Rupert Spira, and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUX1V5UNWP1RUkhLewe77ZQ (cured women objectification for me; wholesome content) although mostly I avoid the website. Easy to loose track of time.
Avoid smoking, alcohol, recreational drug use (https://www.elitedaily.com/wellness/drugs-alcohol-aura-damage/1743959), casual sex (https://mywakingpath.wordpress.com/tag/aura/; sensitive images but useful), and fast food. Budget your money, and learn how to save as much as possible.
Hope everyone reading this post experiences their definition of success and leads a purposeful life. Will end it by stating two quotes that have inspired and guided me:
“You yourself have to change first, or nothing will change for you!”
― Hideaki Sorachi
“It is not important to be better than someone else, but to be better than you were yesterday.”
― Jigoro Kano (Founder of Judo)

Update 1: Added the audio file as well to the mega link
Update 2: https://starseedsunited.com/negative-entities-and-psychic-attacks (basic article on entities)
Some solutions are posted above. Updated* daily routine:
  1. https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1xyp5k/a_simple_and_universal_white_light_protection/ (basic psychic self-defence)
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (at least once everyday; cures sexual dreams and flushes all entities)
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLeubTQv65Q (best shielding subliminal so far; general protection. Listen at least once everyday)
Note: Will continuously update this post based on further clarification. Close to 40,000 character word limit.
submitted by RisingSun7799 to WetDreamDiscussions [link] [comments]

A-Z book challenge - I have some alphabet gaps, please help me find something for them!

Obligatory apology for formatting because I’m on mobile.
I want to do an A-Z reading challenge next year, going twice around the alphabet, one book per week. I have a couple of extra rules for myself that are making it a bit harder to find books: 1) The alphabet is based on the author’s surname. 2) I don’t want two books by the same gender author for a letter of the alphabet. 3) I don’t want to read any non-fiction. 4) I can’t read a book that’s part of a series because I can’t expect to read a series in week and I don’t want to fall behind (although I probably will). 5) The book has to be available on Kindle UK.
My gaps are: U - male or non-binary author X - male or non-binary author Y - male or non-binary author
There’s some soft gaps in the rest of the list as there are books I don’t already own and books where it was my only option while still fitting my rules, so I’m not against other recommendations either. My list so far looks like this:
A1 - Dean Atta “The Black Flamingo” A2 - Margaret Atwood “The Penelopiad” B1 - John Boyne “ The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas” B2 - Helen Bryan “The Sisterhood” C1 - Stephen Chbosky “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” C2 - Martha Conway “The Floating Theatre” D1 - Anthony Doerr “All the Light We Cannot See” D2 - Daphne du Maurier “Rebecca” (does this technically count as a “M”?) E1 - Umberto Eco “The Name of the Rose” E2 - Anna Ellory “The Rabbit Girls” F1 - Ken Follett “The Third Twin” F2 - Amanda Foreman “The Duchess” G1 - Amitav Ghosh “The Glass Palace” G2 - Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell “Wives and Daughters” H1 - Alice Hoffman “The Museum of Extraordinary Things” H2 - Khaled Hosseini “The Kite Runner” I1 - Laila Ibrahim “Golden Poppies” I2 - Antonio Iturbe “The Librarian of Auschwitz” J1 - Jonas Jonasson “The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden” J2 - Diana Wynne Jones “Howl’s Moving Castle” K1 - Guy Gavriel Kay “Tigana” K2 - Hannah Kent “Burial Rites” L1 - John le Carré “The Night Manager” Same as du Maurier - does this count as “C”?) L2 - Andrea Levy “The Long Song” M1 - Michael Morpurgo “Alone on a Wide Wide Sea” M2 - Kate Morton “The House at Riverton” N1 - Jandy Nelson “The Sky is Everywhere” N2 - Patrick Ness “A Monster Calls” O1 - Anne O’Brien “Queen of the North” O2 - George Orwell “1984” P1 - Paul Pen “The Light of the Fireflies” P2 - Jodi Picoult “Handle With Care” Q1 - Matthew Quick “The Silver Linings Playbook” Q2 - Kate Quinn “The Huntress” R1 - Tom Rachman “The Italian Teacher” R2 - Taylor Jenkins Reid “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo” S1 - Tess Sharpe “Far From You” S2 - Adam Silvera “They Both Die at the End” T1 - Liz Trenow “The Dressmaker of Draper’s Lane” T2 - Adrian Tchaikovsky “Case of Souls” U1 - Thrity Umrigar “The Space Between Us” U2 - (gap) V1 - Roxane Van Iperen “The Sisters of Auschwitz” V2 - Ocean Vuong “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous” W1 - Kali Wallace “Shallow Graves” W2 - Michael Weems “Border Crossings” X1 - Xinran “Miss Chopsticks” X2 - (gap) Y1 - Hanya Yanagihara “A Little Life” Y2 - (gap) Z1 - Gabrielle Zevin “Elsewhere” Z2 - Markus Zusak “Bridge of Clay”
I’m pretty unbothered by genre as long as it’s a fiction book. Any help with recs that fit the challenge would be greatly appreciated!
submitted by riarareadthat to suggestmeabook [link] [comments]

Choice is an Illusion. Your Only Choice is to Accept That

I used to think reality was made up of choices. A hundred little choices made every day in a row, strung up like a necklace of pearls. You probably think reality is something like this too, each thing that you do could go a hundred different ways, and the only way it goes is the way that you choose for it to go...but that's not how it works at all. That's not how anything works. Reality is manipulative, just like people are and it's manipulating all of us. It's even manipulating you. You might not think so. Choices are only binary. Yes or no. True or false. There's no great big gray areas like they tell you.
Do you think we should have just one more beer Jeremy? Yes.
You probably think I'm wrong for believing that, but, for instance, let's take your closet: let's say you had 20 shirts to choose from. You might say, "Jeremy that's 20 different ways to choose!" But it's not. Your only choices were ever "yes" or "no" and for 19 of those shirts, your choice was "no."
Will Jeremy tip better if I can keep him drinking? Yes.
Sorry, stay with me, I promise I've got a point and it's this: what if you didn't have any choices at all? What if you only think you do. What if everything has already been decided and there's nothing you can do to change it. What if the shirt was chosen for you and you only believed it were the other way around? We can say we choose yes or no, but that never mattered because it was always an illusion. The pearls are already strung on your string for you from the moment you're born.
What if there'd only been two instead of three of them? Would it have mattered more or mattered less? What if one of them was going to grow up to be the next Hitler? Stalin? The next Kellyanne Conway? Wouldn't that make it all okay?
Wouldn't it?
Would it?
Yes.
I think so.
The thing about pearl necklaces is that they're not like in the movies. Those are fake, dramatic things that come apart everywhere. The ones with real pearls don't do that. Pearls are expensive. They put little knots between each one so they don't wear out rubbing against each other but also so if the string breaks they stay together. They don't scatter in a hundred hopeless directions. They're each knotted individually so they can't.
What if my phone was dead and I couldn't have looked at it? But it wasn't. It was never supposed to be dead because I charged it. I didn't choose to charge it. I had to. I charged it because that was part of the design... part of the reality last night. I just did it because I was supposed to do it. What if the kids looked before walking into the goddamn street? But they didn't. What if I chose not to put gas in last Tuesday and the tank ran empty before this all happened? What if, what if, and what if?
What you have to understand is that I didn't choose to hit those kids with my car just as much as they didn't choose to be hit by my car. There's no choices at all. True or false. He loves me, he loves me not. Yes or no. Life is just events tied up together on a string.
It doesn't matter because you can't pull them apart and watch them scatter and rearrange them from what they were to the way you want them to be.
When I didn't stop. When I drove away… it wasn't a choice. I didn't have a choice. I just did it because I was always going to. I see that now.
It was predetermined. That's just how it is and you can't argue with reality.
_______________
The Greeks believed there were three. Three witches, high on mount Olympus, creeping in a damp cave just beneath Zeus's castle in the clouds. They determined all things that would come to pass. A young adventurer might defy the odds and climb to them--if that adventurer were brave enough, and if they'd predetermined to let them.
The Greeks understood the illusion of choice in those epic poems far better than we ever will.
I woke up thinking about my choices--or more accurately--the events of the night before.
Those goddamn kids choosing not to look both ways before stepping off the goddamn curb and into the goddamn street in their goddamn costumes.
I'm going to jail. I thought. Fuck. I am. I know I am.
I poured myself a bowl of cereal, but I couldn't eat it. It just stared at me, a hundred little cheerio eyes glaring wide with shock. Fuck you! I thought, sweeping the bowl to the floor. It crashed there in a puddle of milk and shards of glass, judging me still. Collecting myself, I sighed heavily and placed my head into my hands and slowed my ragged breathing until I was calm. I'd left the pantry open and when I looked up from the table that stupid man on the tube of oatmeal was staring out at me with judgement as well. He of the stupid frilly shirt and dumb white hair and quiet knowing smirk.
Fuck him in his fucking Quaker ass. And fuck his hat. It wasn't my fault!
I got up and slunk away from the table wondering if I hadn't dreamed it all to begin with. I could have. I didn't think so, but I could have. Please God.
Please God, if you're out there, make this all a bad dream.
I saw nothing on the morning news. I watched it for hours in a stupor until my phone broke me from the rotten headspace I'd been floating in and back to Earth.
Before the call, so far there hadn't been anything on the local news about a hit and run.
"Where the fuck are you Bailey?" a small voice demanded. I hadn't even realized I'd picked the phone up before the voice of Gary Turner began screaming through the speaker. The corpulence of his jowls, like the drooping cheeks of a basset hound, could be heard smacking as he screamed at me through the phone.
I didn't respond.
"Jeremy Bailey, the BCU is a huge fucking client and you were supposed to be meeting with their advisory board almost an hour ago. You better have a real fucking good reason to--"
"My grandmother died," I lied.
He was quiet for a moment and when he began to mutter a half-hearted apology, I interrupted him again and told him I was taking a personal day and hung up before he could say another word.
It wasn't nice, but I hoped he had some sort of stroke later. It would serve you right, Gary Turner.
One witch is Clotho, she's the Spinner. She weaves the threads.
"It's 8:59. Stay tuned after this short word from our sponsors for the latest headlines and Weather-on-the-Ones"
Her sister Lachesis, was the Allotter. She chose the lengths of each.
"It's gonna be a cold wet one today for Braden County and the surrounding areas. You can expect highs in the mid 40°s with an 80% chance of precipitation around 4pm. The low for this evening--"
Atropos, the Inflexible one, was the third. She was the one who cuts it. The three old crones share one eye passed between them, examining every strand they made in turn, like a jeweler, looking for flaws. They do it because they're compelled to, but they never find anything during inspection. The Greeks called them The Fates and they were the cause of every last thing.
"The tragic news of the death of loved ones struck three families overnight."
The television provided my second undesired jolt back to reality that morning. I held my breath. This was it. I'd really done it. I killed those kids. They were looking for me. I could hear my heart rattling in my chest as though it had come loose. This was the story. Here she was, Avon Sugowski standing on the street in front of an apartment building as cars rushed past. She was about to tell the world about those kids and their last Halloween. About what I'd done.
"In the heart of Bradenville this morning, three were found dead in a tragedy that could have been easily avoided."
She held something in her hand. Round and white and the size of her palm.
"Emergency services reported the deaths of the residents who lived in the number 8 building of Bluegrass Ridge, the apartment building just behind be. Tenants are blaming the deaths on the negligence of apartment management and this particular model of carbon monoxide detector which is still installed in every unit here. Recalled by the manufacturer nearly 6 years ago due to mechanical flaws."
The camera cut to show an older woman. She's angry and her lips are pursed into a wrinkled scowl. She began speaking and I turned the volume up to hear her better. I bit my lip, still only hearing the part about 3 dead and irrationally expecting the story to suddenly change direction and be about me. I attempted to stifle anxious tears that I could feel coming.
"I've been living here 'bout 13, 14 years or so. Not once did they ever schedule any kind of maintenance or check on those damn things in my place. Too cheap is what they are. The makers said in the recall they'd replace the faulty ones for free, but who pays to install them? Nobody if you live in Bluegrass Ridge, that's who. That's how cheap these people are. Oughtta be ashamed."
Avon returned, this time boxed to the right of her was an infographic:
"Carbon monoxide is a deadly colorless, odorless gas…"
I began to laugh. It wasn't funny, but I was relieved the story was about something other than my accident. Her voice trailed off and I went back to thinking about The Fates once more.
"...filled four apartments, one of which was unoccupied at the time before a working carbon monoxide detector alerted residents in the rest of the building."
I turned the television off and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe I'd imagined it all and there was one sure way to tell. I went outside and looked at my car.
The sun was bright for 9:15. It could have been brighter than usual or it may have been the hangover. The birds were far too loud and as I walked around my car, their lighthearted singing died. A dozen crows on the telephone wires, where I hadn't initially seen them began to drown them out with their awful dirge.
It was probably just their standard squawking sounds, but all I heard from their beaks was the word "murderer" over and over again.
My knees felt weak as I examined the damage. The hood was cratered and where it wasn't covered with dried smears of blood, the paint was scraped down to the metal.
How many of my neighbors had seen this? What had I done? What should I do?
This brings me back to choices and why choices aren't real. There's not a handful of things to do. There's not a dozen options I had available to consider. There was just one. It was the only thing I could do. It was done. I didn't think there was any way to undo the damage I'd caused or the hurt…or bring them back.
I put the car into the garage.
Listen, I know you think I'm an awful person but you're missing the point really. You don't even know the rest. It's not that I didn't feel bad. Of course I felt bad. I threw a whole bowl of cheerios onto the floor I felt so bad. The point is that this was part of a design. It wasn't up to me. It was fate.
Choices aren't real. Everything happens because it's meant to. I parked the car where it belonged and decided to take my breakfast after all: a bowl of Jack Daniels. 86 the Cheerios and their judgement. After, I went back to bed.
When I woke again the world outside should have been midday and perhaps a bit gray to match the cold weather the newsman promised.
I opened my eyes. Normally, I might have taken the time to wake slowly, stretching my arms above my head, gaping my jaw with a wide, dramatic air. This time, instead of yawning, I felt myself releasing a scream that found its way out from the depths of my gut.
The clock on my nightstand read 3:14pm. That small end-table and my bed itself were all that remained of my room. The rest was gone, swallowed up by swirls of restless darkness. The walls had fallen away, replaced by nebulas of nearly impenetrable fog. It moved around me, consuming the world beyond my bed in an irregular circle. Nearly solid, but not quite, it was peppered through as though blasted by a shotgun with birdshot from every angle possible. Light, the powerful, atomic white of pure energy lay just beyond that opaque wall of tenebrous shadow. The brightness of it filtered through like a hundred spinning lights in a club, each directed onto me where I lay while the thick dark mist fluctuated, moving like something alive.
I was trying to take this all in when I saw them. One of them might have grown up to be a serial killer--the next Elizabeth Bathory--and I might have done the world a favor with my car the night before. At the time I was willing to bet money that none of them seemed to share that line of thinking.
They hovered shoulder to shoulder at the end of my footboard. Each of their faces twisted into dark scowls. The one at the center wore a light blue dress that might have been an Elsa costume once, except the gossamer snowflaked sleeves were now stained red entirely. Her neck was bent unnaturally to one side. The one to her right was dressed in a cat jumpsuit. The tail that was attached to the back of it seemed to be alive, swaying with cobraesque charm. Her features were dark, and smears of makeup stained her cheeks in patterns that had once been whiskers. One black and pointy ear, broken halfway up, dangled pathetic from her kitty-cat headband. It flopped onto and off from her slick, wine-dark, and blood-matted hair as she moved. The final, the one to the left, held a basket in one hand, the straw broken nearly into kindling. her face was obscured by a red hood. It hung down to her chin until she slowly began to pull it back and away. Most of her face appeared to be untouched like the smooth white of a china figurine, but as she continued, she revealed the destruction of an entire side of her skull. What remained there was the deviating void of the indentation made by my tire.
The first two had only darkness in the spaces where their eyes should have been. The eyes were gone. There was nothing there. The third with the basket, Little Red Riding Hood--as I realized her costume then--was missing one of her's in the vacuous space where her skull should have been intact. The other eye, which still existed hung limply halfway down her cheek in the side of her skull that wasn't crushed. It dangled there, suspended by a knot of nerves.
Their empty eyes were fixed upon me, unseeing. Red plucked the dangling eye she retained from her skull and pointed it to stare at me.
When they spoke, they spoke in unison, their mouths hanging open like endless screams, speaking the words through unmoving lips as they passed the single eye between them.
"Jeremy Bailey, son of Katie Eckhart and Richard Bailey. You have been chosen." They said.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I didn't mean--"
"SILENCE!" they screamed and I would have chosen to listen but they didn't give me a choice of whether or not I should comply. My mouth slammed shut on its own and I felt something horrible moving inside of my gums, burrowing through them, pressing out of them. Four holes made their way through my lips as though drawn by four unseen needles and something white and tapeworm-thin began to slither out of my clenched jaw as I thrashed in bed.
"BE STILL!" they demanded and my body went rigid as though each limb had been tied to the posts.
The tapeworms slid their way back and forth, in and out in a haphazard and gruesome stitch until my lips were sealed with rugged white x-patterns of tapeworm yarn. I felt every molecule in my body begin to burn then. My blood was boiling.
Tears ran down my cheeks.
"You have been chosen." They began again. "This is by no choice you've made, not by omission of choices you might have made. Your choices do not matter. Your fate has been preordained."
"We are those who they have named The Fates." they continued. Elsa held the eye now and though it had no face or lids of its own to convey itself, I could feel its gaze upon me widen and intensify.
"We appear before you in these forms to resolve you of your sin. You shall perform a task for us and these faces, though not our true faces, have been chosen to help you understand what is required. We, the daughters of Nyx the Unending Night have no true faces of our own."
I could hear myself whimpering beneath my stitches and any leverage I managed to gain against my invisible bindings was immediately overpowered. Lifting my left arm 8 inches from the mattress caused it to violently be slammed down again. I began to cry, too shocked to react before that moment, and squeezed my eyes shut.
"OPEN YOUR EYES" they wailed, "OR THEY SHALL BE LIDLESS--AS EYES THAT WERE FORCED OPEN FOR YOU--FOREVER. THERE ARE NO CHOICES TO BE MADE HERE, JEREMY BAILEY. THIS IS YOUR FATE, SO DETERMINED AT YOUR BIRTH."
Terrified by the threat, I opened my eyes again, wide. Kitty had the eye now. A whip-like smile snapped across her face, much wider than the smiles of her sisters.
"We are the ones who work the wheel to spin the threads. We are the ones to measure them. We are the ones to cut them at their ends."
"Last night, another took this task upon herself." They continued, their lips still unmoving, "the threads of the three children who appear before you were ordained to be cut Halloween night at 8:17 as they went door-to-door in search of sweet things."
"This may seem cruel to you. You who's entire life spans but mere moments. We are Endless. A hundred years are but moments for the Endless. It is our discretion how long those moments of mortal lives are meant to span."
"These three young girls were taken by another. Then that other was led to subvert our grand design. This was forseen. Before your conception or hers, this was forseen. Your purpose in this was forseen " They explained.
"We are The Fates. We are Endless. Though we share but one eye, nothing in this world goes unseen. We have spun and measured and cut your thread for this sole purpose."
"You were chosen to wield the shears that deliver justice to the one who caused the death of the children standing before you. Her witchcraft violated the very laws of time and nature to shift the burden of her actions onto another."
I don't want this. No I don't want this. Do I? True or False? It's not my fault but I'm sorry still. If I take their revenge aren't I just as wrong? Aren't I? Yes or No?
"You were chosen to be the hand to deliver this message to the races of mortals: we will not suffer the meddling of interlopers in matters of fate."
They finished by telling me what I was meant to do and handing me a pair of gleaming scissors, shears the size of garden loppers.
When I woke, the clock read 3:15 and the dial on the 5 was slowly turning over to 6. I felt as though I must have listened to them for hours but only a moment or two had passed in the waking world. The sky outside was a cold as dull steel. I slowly sat up, wondering if the entire event had been a wild dream brought on by guilt.
When I looked at my face in the mirror, my mouth was still fastened by their thread which had now become a part of me. Knots of skin that twisted in X-formations like puffy scars. I examined them knowing for certain then that it was all true.
Kassandra Petersen lived at 832 Cypress Lake Drive. I knew this because that was what they told me.
I was on a date at 7:30 with a man I'd met online. He was strange but nice. He refinished furniture in his spare time. He loved animals and made time for his nieces and nephews that lived a few hours away every other weekend because they were important to him. He told me beforehand online that he knew a dozen ways to preserve flowers. I thought that was endearing so I gave him one as an icebreaker for our first meeting--a yellow rose--and he told me how he planned to save it.
"Maybe forever," he said that with stars in his eyes.
My heart melted.
While we ate dinner, Kassandra Petersen hit three girls as they crossed the street in their Halloween costumes. A Red Riding Hood, An Elsa, and A Black Cat. Because there are no choices, she did just as she was meant to. She went home and opened a book and said the words on the pages within. She made the accident shift. The dents in her car restored themselves and the blood slowly faded until it was never there at all.
Daniel and I were having drinks by 9:00
"Do you think we should have just one more beer, Jeremy?" He asked. I should have said "no," but I didn't because I'd said "yes" instead. It didn't matter because the choice wasn't mine.
The bartender wondered if I would tip better if he kept us drinking and I did. When Daniel and I parted ways, we shared our first kiss. He offered to share his Uber too, but I couldn't do that. I had to tell him "no " I had to tell him I was fine to drive despite knowing that I wasn't. It wasn't a choice. It was preordained.
I hit those girls on my way home, but I wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of doing that. That was not my fault. That was Kassandra meddling with time--pushing them forward. Passing the blame. There would never be any evidence that I'd done it because they weren't meant to be in that place at that time...
And still, this was always meant to happen this way. It was by their design. The Fates told me themselves. Those girls existed only to fulfill that moment and to teach all of us… All of you reading this...that these things aren't ours to meddle with. Our time here and what happens belongs to them. They send us--people like Kassandra and people like me--as reminders from time to time. She is the example to be made and I am to be their messenger.
Atropos gave me her giant scissors. I will go to her house and wait. I will remove her head. As soon as I do the stitches will dissolve and the dents in my car will rebound to their normal shape. The blood will subside on its own, just as it had from the original vehicle that took those lives.
I don't have a choice because I want to see Daniel again and get to know him. I want to give him more flowers to preserve. I have to fix my face so we can have a second kiss. I have to fix my car so I can make it to our next date. I'll share his Uber home this time.
I take the scissors from the bed and head out the door to punish the one who broke the rules and made her way too far out of line. And I'll do what they said. I'll cut off Kassandra's head.
I understand all of this.
What I don't understand is if there are no choices, and everything is preordained by The Fates and their all-knowing eye, that can only meet Kassandra didn't have a choice in what she did either. She could only meddle with fate because they made her do so. She didn't have a choice or decide to do anything. None of us control anything we do.
What I don't understand is why they've set these things into motion. In my head I can only think they must get bored after so long. In my head I can hear them laughing, but I'll do this because I'm destined to do it.
There are no choices. Choice is an illusion. The only choice I have is to accept that for what it is. This is my fate…
And Fate is a cruel, three headed bitch with a sick sense of humor that shares one eye...
ss
submitted by Scott_Savino to nosleep [link] [comments]

Sometimes the best things in life are free, like these great Mac apps!


Get the greatest free apps on your Mac without having to dig through the entire Mac App Store!
The Mac App Store is full of all manner of apps, from simple utilities to complex programs. New apps are published every day, making it hard to find the best of the best — which is where we come in. We've gathered the best free apps for the Mac, all in one place so you don't have to go digging.

My criteria for apps on this list

In researching the best free apps for the Mac, I started by using Apple's category list. This makes it easier to cover the wide variety of content available. If an app is on the Mac App Store, it is in one of the 21 categories that Apple has listed.
Because this is a "free" app list, I tried to only include apps that are truly free or whose functionality is not diminished without an in-app purchase. You will see some apps that have premium content that can be unlocked with an in-app purchase, but I've included them on the list because I feel that the free content is noteworthy.
Since this is a list of apps, I'm not including services that only have websites without a dedicated app (there are two exceptions to this rule on the list, but they are totally worthy of rule-bending).
I've included some apps that are not available in the Mac App Store. That's because some of the best apps in a given category are so much better than any Mac App Store counterpart that I couldn't exclude them.
Though this list is long, it is by no means complete. There are just too many free Mac apps available to include everything. If you don't see your favorite free Mac app on this list, please add it in the comments section with your reason for why it stands out. (Remember: It has to be truly free or the free version of an otherwise premium app that is noteworthy.)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Business

Slack


Slack is a must-have app for anyone working remotely with others. It is the best business chat app around. The Mac app is a chat window, so you can keep your conversations going without having to log into a web browser every time. You can have multiple accounts running at the same time and there are dozens of helpful bots that you can add to any chat room.
Download now

Wave


Wave is one of those exceptions to the rule of no services without a dedicated app. It is a free software tool for small businesses. You can use it for invoicing, receipts, accounting, and more. You can also add credit card processing and payroll for a small additional fee. It is set up to work with what your business needs are. If you don't need a feature, you aren't paying for it. If you only need a feature sometimes, you only pay when you use it. Because Wave is dedicated to making small business tools work the way small business owners need them to, I've included it on this list.
See at Wave

Developer tools

Xcode


Xcode is the macOS, iOS, tvOS, and watchOS developer's handiest tool. It supports coding for Swift, Objective-C, Python, and a whole lot more. It can build universal binary files to run on PowerPC and Intel-based computers, and developers can create apps for 32-bit and 64-bit architectures. It's got everything an Apple coder needs.
Download now

TextWrangler


When it comes to coding, nothing keeps your characters more organized than TextWrangler. The text editor works with a wide variety of coding syntax and even has color coding for different programming languages. You can easily access files on FTP and SFTP servers. It is also a fantastic app for non-programmers for its many smaller details, like line wrapping, email templates, and quote styles. It is one of the best free code editors around.
Download now

Atom


Atom is another fantastic, free text and code editor for the Mac. This one is not available in the Mac App Store, but is highly rated among programmers. It has a built-in package manager with wide support for a number of different packages. It integrates with HTML, JavaScript, CSS, and Node.js and allows programmers to code across platforms. It is highly customizable so that you can create the most ideal coding atmosphere to help keep you working quickly.
See at Atom

Education

Khan Academy


Khan Academy is another exception to my rule that a service must have a dedicated app, but it is such a fantastic learning website, rich with online study courses of all levels — for free — that I had to include it. You can learn the colors of the rainbow or the Pythagorean Theorem. It covers basic subjects and works you into deeper involvement, just like you would start off taking basic classes in school and move into more advanced curricula. You can also prepare for the SAT, MCAT, GMAT, IIT JEE, and NCLEX-RN with excellent study guides. It is a great resource for getting started or back into your education.
See at Khan Academy

iTunes U


Right inside the iTunes app on your Mac is a universe of knowledge. There are thousands of specialized courses, which you can download for free, that are lead by professors at some of the most popular colleges in the world. You can learn statistics from Harvard, business from Stanford, psychology from Yale, and much more. Subjects cover architecture to women's studies, with practically everything you can think of in between. To access iTunes U, open iTunes on your Mac and select it from the menu.
See the subjects

Entertainment

HandBrake


HandBrake is a free, open-source software program that lets you convert practically any media file to MP4, M4V, or MKV. You can convert your entire DVD or Blu-ray collection into digital form to watch on your Apple TV without having to pay someone to do it for you. You can quickly choose which type of device you want your file to be transcoded to support (like iOS or tvOS) and then get to converting within just a few seconds. For more advanced file conversion fans, there are a number of great features to help you perfect your digital movie catalog.
See at HandBrake

VLC media player


VLC is the best free, open-source media player for the Mac. With it, you can play nearly any media file, including MPEG-2, MPEG-4, MKV, WebM, WMV, and much more. It has a number of customizable features so you can create your ideal viewing situation or set up your music listening experience the way you want. It does support DVD and Blu-ray decryption through the libdvdcss library if you are so inclined to use it.
See at VideoLan

Spotify


If you're not using Apple Music (actually, even if you are), Spotify is the next best music streaming service for the Mac. With the Mac app, you can listen to thousands of songs across all genres. It includes a useful playlist section so you can keep track of your favorite music. It also has a great music discovery section where you can see what's trending or music you might like based on what you've been listening to. The social aspect makes it one of my favorite free social media apps for the iPhone, too.
See at Spotify

See also

Best music controllers for the Mac

Finance

Debit & Credit - Personal Finance


If you prefer to keep track of your finances manually, Debit & Credit is a great checkbook balancing app (I know, no one balances a checkbook anymore). You manually enter every transaction and income, and you can keep track of what you're spending with the budget list. The report feature is the best. You can view your spending habits by category, where you spend, your income and expenses differences, whether you are able to save, and more. There is an in-app purchase to unlock more than two accounts, but if you only have two bank accounts, you don't need the premium service.
Download now

Money Wiz 2 ~ Personal Finance


Money Wiz is a great personal finance tracker for balancing your bank account. The free version lets you manually add account information like income, expenses, and account transfers. If you sign up for the monthly subscription, you can connect your online bank accounts and have the work done for you. You can also create a budget (though you can only track one budget before being asked to upgrade). You can also set up a schedule reminder to keep you on track for paying bills that are due at the same time each month. It features a few more customizable features, like creating a new category for income and expenses, as well as creating financial reports based on your net worth, cash flow, and balance over time. Money Wiz works better with the subscription upgrade, but is very useful for keeping your checking accounts balanced.
Download now

Graphics & Design

GIMP


GIMP is pretty much the open-source version of Photoshop. You can fix minor photo errors, like light balance and contrast, or manipulate your image using the masking and removing features, similar to that of Photoshop's. You can also add filters, resize, create layers, mix up background objects, and a whole lot more. It's the best free version of Photoshop you can use on the Mac.
See at Gimp

Autodesk Sketchbook


Autodesk is famous for its artists' apps, which feature a rich selection of brushes that seem hyper-realistic. You can use it to create vector graphic images, illustrations, and photorealistic works of art. There are dozens of customizable pens, pencils, and paintbrushes, and the color palette is so robust that you can perfectly match practically any color in the world. The free download comes with dozens of amazing tools, but you can upgrade to the pro version to unlock even more options. It is a graphic artist's best tool on the Mac.
Download now

Health & Fitness

Time Out - Break Reminders


Taking a moment for oneself is one of the most difficult health and fitness steps to take. We get so caught up with our busy schedules that we forget to stop for a moment. Time Out forces you to take those little breaks by dimming your screen so you can't use it for a specified amount of time. You can set up small breaks every hour, micro-breaks every 15 minutes, and lunch breaks to get your eyes off the screen for a half-hour or so. You can configure how long the breaks are and how often you take them. It'll make your eyes, your muscles, and your heart a little bit healthier every day you use it.
Download now

Relax Lite - Stress and Anxiety Relief


When the stress of the day starts to overwhelm you, use Relax to help you take things down a notch. It is a simple window with relaxing visual images and calming music that includes special tones to help cue your breathing exercises. There are guided meditation sessions you can take part in and deep-breathing exercises that will help you focus and reduce stress. Sometimes, you just need to check out for 10 minutes in order to be a more productive person.
Download now

Lifestyle

iBooks Author


If you fancy yourself a writer, Apple's iBooks Author is the perfect app to get your work published without having to sign a publishing contract. You can use Apple's pre-made templates to help facilitate the perfect design. Add images, a video introduction, book cover, and more for a more immersive experience. With the multitouch widgets, you can make your pages interactive. Add photos, audio, Keynote presentations, and 3D objects. When you've finished you can upload it to the iBooks Store with the in-app export tools. You'll be a famous author before you know it!
Download now

Trillian


How many chat and messaging programs are you signed up with? If it's more than one, you need Trillian. It combines all of your chat and messaging accounts into one simple interface so you don't have to switch between apps to talk to your friends and family. You can chat through Facebook, Twitter, Google Chat, Yahoo, Bonjour, and more, all in one window. Chat services are delineated by color coding, so you know where a message is coming from. If you have too many chat channels and want to keep them all in one place, use Trillian to keep them organized.
Download now

Medical

Complete Anatomy


You've never seen the human body the way it is presented in this medical book. It shows you the entire make up of the body's systems. For free, you can examine, in interactive 3D, the entire skeletal and connective tissue layers, including names of bones, surfaces, insertion points, and more. You can zoom in on specific areas of the body for detailed interactions and animate muscle movements. You'll learn more about human anatomy than you ever thought possible.
Download now

Music

Audacity


Audacity is one of the best free audio editors. You can record live audio for podcasts, turn tapes and records into digital music, and edit tracks. If the original recording is a little too bright, you can add a filter to bring down the highs. Trim the excess off of the front or back of a recording, and even blend one track into another. It is very easy to use, so you don't have to be a professional recording artist to get into it.
See at Audacity

Cross DJ Free


DJ programs can be a pain in the pocketbook. If you're just learning the ropes or want to have a homegrown dance party, don't spend the heavy cash. Cross DJ makes it possible for you to spin the beats without the expensive software. It features waveforms, beat sync, track cueing, loops, digital scratching, and more. It accesses your iTunes library directly, so you don't even have to load up new music. You may eventually upgrade to a more robust DJ app, but this is definitely a great starter program.
Download now

Shazam


The popular song identification program that was folded into Siri on the iPhone is also available on the Mac. Shazam listens to your music and tells you what you want to know about it. While it's running, it will tell you the name of a song and artist. While you're listening to tunes, it will automatically create a playlist of tracks you can listen to with Apple Music (when available), even if you are currently listening to music with a different service. Click a track to see lyrics and watch music videos on Shazam's website, too.
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News

RSS Bot - News Notifier


RSS Bot is like having a news feed right in your Menu bar. When you log in, you can add any RSS feed to it and then quickly view new content with a single click. You can set up the service to notify you when new posts are published, or just check on things yourself when you have the time. If you read a blog that covers more subjects than you are interested in, you can set up a filter that will only show you articles that match keywords you designate.
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Pocket


Pocket is sort of like the folder your mom used to keep with newspaper and magazine clippings in it. You can save articles, videos, recipes, and more, right in Pocket for reading later. It's the perfect app for people who like to browse the entirety of the internet with no real focus, but don't have the time to read everything they come across. Save articles for offline viewing so you can read new content while you are on the bus or at the park. The app has a nifty tool that highlights the most important articles of the day, so you can read content organized by priority.
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Photography

Fotor


Fotor is a super easy photo editing app for the Mac that lets you create fun and unique projects from your collection. You can adjust the lighting, tweak the white balance, add a fun border, lay on a filter, and even add text boxes. It supports batch editing, so you can stylize all of your vacation photos at the same time. The collage tool lets you create pages with multiple photos that you can customize to your liking. It is a fun, simple way to edit your photos without the complex tools that you need to know about with Photoshop.
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Polarr Photo Editor Lite


Polarr is a basic photo editing app with excellent tools for image adjusting. You can adjust color, light, clarity, highlights, shadows, and more. Add effects like color shadows, lens distortions, vignettes, and filters. This app works best when you are trying to enhance your pictures, not when you are trying to get artsy with them. If you can't seem to get your picture just right, trigger one of the helpful tutorials to learn how to brighten dark images or properly add white balance. There are dozens of pro-level tools, but they are designed to be used by anyone.
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See also

Best photo editing apps for Mac

Productivity

Wunderlist


Wunderlist is the best task manager app you can get without paying for it. You can create different lists and add time-sensitive projects to them, create tasks with recurring due dates, and share your lists with others. It syncs across Mac and iOS, so you can take your lists with you everywhere you go. You'll always be ready to take care of business. You can set due dates for tasks and reminders to help keep you on task. You can also include subtasks for specific projects and leave yourself a note if you need more details. Tag a task as important and it will move to the top of your list.
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Evernote


Evernote is like that basket you have next to the couch or that drawer in your kitchen that has _everything_in it. You can clip web pages, link status updates, add music, store pictures, create new notes, and share anything you want with others. Not only is it the perfect junk drawer for every digital thing you could possibly want to save, but it is also totally organizable so your junk looks more like a perfectionist's desk. You can make checklists, set reminders, drop notes into existing documents, annotate pictures, and all manner of stuff. It does practically everything except fix the kitchen sink.
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TickTick


TickTick is a great choice if you want an easy to use task manager that is still powerful enough to help you feel productive. TickTick is completely cross-platform across 10 different platforms, and you can even access all of your tasks on the web. Adding tasks can be done with a keyboard shortcut, you get instant reminders, flexibility with recurring tasks and priority levels, checklists, and sync. There are no restrictions, but you can go with TickTick Premium for more features like grid views of timeline and calendars, smart lists, sub-task reminders, and more. They're nice bonuses, but you can get the basic functionality (which is more than enough for most) for free.
Download now

Microsoft OneNote


If Evernote isn't really your thing (you do need a subscription to get the most use out of it), then consider Microsoft OneNote. Think of OneNote as your digital notebook for capturing everything: thoughts, discoveries, ideas, notes, etc. You can create multiple notebooks for different topics or subjects, and each notebook can hold an unlimited number of notes. Your notes can include just plain text, drawings, PDF documents, files, web snippets, and pretty much anything else you would possibly need to reference later.
Download now

See also

Best calendar apps for MacBest NaNoWriMo apps and accessoriesBest Evernote Alternatives

Reference

Kindle


If you love reading eBooks, then the Kindle app is a must-have for your Mac. With the Kindle app, you'll get access to your collection of Amazon Kindle books, and Amazon Whispersync means they'll also be accessible on your other devices too, including iPhone and iPad. Whispersync will keep track of the last page you read, bookmarks, notes, and highlights, so you simply pick up where you left off on your Mac, Kindle, iPhone, or iPad. The Kindle app also lets you sample books for free, and you can purchase directly from the Kindle bookstore, or import your own eBooks.
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Mactracker


Apple geeks, pay attention. This little reference tool is going to impress you. It features detailed information on every single Apple product ever made, including things like processor speeds, original price, and current selling price. Did you know that the first Macintosh only had 1 MB of memory? With Mactracker, you will know all about all the Macs. And, you can input your own Apple devices, too. So you can keep track of what you own and whether it is still under warranty. It covers more than just Mac's too. You can look up servers, PowerBooks, and every software update for every device.
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Megawords


Sometimes, you're just trying to find that perfect word, the one that rhymes perfectly for your song or the one that is similar to the word you are thinking of, but works better in a sentence. Megawords is a simple little app that gives you a wealth of information in just a few seconds. You can look up anagrams, find rhymes, and even get a little help with crossword puzzles. Type in a word to get the dictionary definition, synonyms, and even geographical information if the word happens to also be the name of a place.
Download now

Social Networking

Friendly for Twitter


Friendly for Twitter is a lightweight app that lets you log in to all of your Twitter accounts, and then some. Friendly acts as a lightweight chrome around the Twitter web app, so it's fast and light. You can also add your Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, WhatsApp, Pinterest, Linkedin profiles, and more. Friendly also gives you two options to view Twitter: Twitter Mobile or Tweetdeck styles, so you can pick the one that suits your needs.
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Tweetdeck


If you're using Twitter primarily for publishing, marketing, or just a power-user, then you may want to look into Tweetdeck. It's a flexible Twitter app that lets you have multiple columns side-by-side, so you can see more tweets in a single glance. The app also recently gained nice features like Dark Mode and custom themes.
Download now

PhotoFeed - for Instagram


Can't get enough Instagram? Then you should download PhotoFeed - for Instagram on your Mac. This simple app allows you to log in to your Instagram account, so you can browse your feed, like photos, and leave comments. You know, without having to go on your phone! It's basic, but it gets the job done. You do need to have an Instagram account to use it though, as it won't work without a login.
Download now

Travel

Apple Maps


Apple's built-in mapping service is really convenient to have on the Mac. You may not realize how often you look up the location of something while on your computer, but it is a fairly common occurrence, at least for me. Having Maps integrated with every aspect of your Mac makes it easy to look up directions from anywhere, like an email, a website, or a contact card. Siri can use Apple Maps to help you find all manner of locations in just a few seconds. It's already on your Mac and works great with all of the other built-in apps, too.

Google Earth


You may think of Google Maps as a means to get from point A to point B, but there is so much more to discover on this big blue marble than just driving directions. You can virtually travel the globe, visiting cities you'll never get to in real life. Walk around Manhattan with Street View, visit the swelling seas, and even look up to see the stars above you. With the time travel feature, you can go back decades to see what your house looked like, long before you lived there. Google Earth is less of a mapping service and more like a wealth of global information at your fingertips
See at Google

Utilities

f.lux


f.lux is the original maker of soft, yellow-hued lighting for digital screens. You can set it to your local time and your screen will automatically start to dim and turn a slight yellow color. You can customize the effect by increasing or decreasing the intensity and there are additional color effects, like "Movie mode" and "Darkroom" which drastically alter your screen's lighting, but under specific circumstances that you choose. f.lux is designed to help relieve eye strain due to late-night computer use. It is a great utility to have on your Mac.
See at Flux

Parcel - Delivery Tracking


Thanks to the mega-boom in online retail services, we are getting packages delivered more often than ever before, and not just during the holidays. Parcel is easy to use. All you have to do is copy a tracking number and then click on the plus (+) button in the Parcel app and the carrier information will be added automatically. You can add a title description and then keep an eye on how much longer before your package will be at your doorstep. You can add a widget to Notification Center and use Spotlight to look up tracking information. You can only track three packages at a time without an in-app purchase, but the premium price is only $2.99 per year.
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The Unarchiver


If you regularly get large files sent to you, you'll love what the Unarchiver can do for you. It quickly unzips compressed and archived files from a number of different sources, including Zip RAR, 7-zip, and more, and it will open older archives from Stuffit, ARC and ISO disc images. As easy as it is to use Apple's Archive utility to simply unzip large files, the Unarchiver takes care of older content that can be a real pain to get open, since it uses smart detection to encode files correctly so that you won't end up with a bunch of garbled text. It is a fantastic secondary utility for opening files on your Mac.
Download now

See also

Best password manager apps for MacBest menu bar widgets for Mac

Video

GIPHY Capture - The GIF Maker


Giphy, which supplies the single largest collection of GIFs across the internet, has a GIF maker so you can join in the fun. It features a recording window that you place over anything you want to record. You can capture still shots or videos (iTunes movies will go black under the GIPHY Capture app due to copyright protection). After recording the section you want to use as a GIF, you can edit it by trimming, resizing, and looping it. You can also add a caption to turn it into a meme. When you're done, you can upload it to Giphy.com to share with the rest of the world. Who knows, maybe your GIF will go viral.
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Smart Converter


Consumption of entertainment is going digital and it is much easier to simply watch one of your DVD or Blu-ray discs as a digital file right in iTunes instead of having to walk over to your shelf, find the title, walk over to your player, insert the disc, and hit play. With Smart Converter, you can turn all of your movies, TV shows, and homemade videos into files that you can watch from whichever device you prefer. It is specially designed to make it easy to resize and convert files into content fit for your Apple TV, Mac, iPad, or iPhone, but you can also select and convert for dozens of devices, including non-Apple products. When the conversion is finished, simply add it to whatever streaming service you use with your device and your content is ready to watch. It is super easy to use for conversion beginners, too.
Download now

Blender


Blender is an open-source video creation app that lets you make animations, 3D models, games, and more. It supports modeling rigging, animation, simulation, rendering, composition, and motion tracking. Because it is open-source, developers are constantly creating and sharing tools that others can use, such as textures, 3D character builds, and cartoons. If you are ready to take your animation to the next level, Blender is the best option for free on the Mac.
See at Blender

Weather

WeatherBug Lite


If you just want a quick glance at the current temperature, WeatherBug Lite is just what you need. It is a Menu bar app that always shows the current temperature and weather condition. All you have to do is look up. If you want more information, you can click on the Menu bar widget to get an hourly forecast and a current weather radar. If you really want to get into the nitty-gritty, click on a stat to open WeatherBug on the web, where you can find out about windshield, sunrise, rainfall, and more. WeatherBug Lite is the perfect little at-a-glance weather app because it's always on.
Download now

Your favorites?

Though this list is long, it is by no means complete. There are just too many free apps available for the Mac to include everything. If you don't see your favorite free Mac app on this list, please add it in the comments section with your reason for why it stands out (Remember: It has to be truly free, or the free version of an otherwise premium app that is noteworthy.)
August 2019: Removed apps that are no longer free or available. Added Kindle, Microsoft OneNote, TickTick, Friendly for Twitter, Tweetdeck, and PhotoFeed - for Instagram. These are the best free apps for your Mac!
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